IM/MSN vs. Telephone...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2005
IM/MSN vs. Telephone...
7
Fri, 08-26-2005 - 9:36am

Good morning..everyone...

thanks for all of your advice re "red flag" it really helped...and my new prospect and i had a talk about relationships and we have made plans for this weekend.. so that will be 2 times that i am seeing him this week.. and he said that he's looking for someone to settle down with..sooooooo not trying to jump the gun...but it's all going in a good direction..

here's my question.. i'm sure all of u can relate...

due to the fact that we have all met our new "friends" online.. and we all use the computer for a lot more then typing a letter... LOL... i have found that i use msn to talk a lot more to guys that i have met.. it is like talking but what's really stopping us from picking up the phone.. ? like with this guy a lot of the "plan making" was done through MSN convo and confirmations on the phone...

sometimes it seems like things are said that wouldn't be in person or on the phone?
it's like as the face to face levels of communication are removed people are more open..

does anyone else find that they use instant message type convos more often then phone convos and who thinks that's negative or positive???

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-26-2005 - 10:17am

I avoid that by not IM'ing prospective dates at all. I find it an intrusive and unsatisfactory means of conversing.

Sheri

Avatar for calilawgirl
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
Fri, 08-26-2005 - 10:18am

Personally, I don't like talking on the phone. I must be one of those rare girls that doesn't like it.

I use IM to talk to almost everyone in my life. But those are all people who are integrated into my life.

If these are guys from dating websites you are chatting with and you feel like the contact should move to the phone or a live date, why not suggest it? If he's really that excited about you, it won't be an issue.

Have fun and good luck!

Avatar for travkitty
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2003
Fri, 08-26-2005 - 11:24am

I also dislike talking on the phone. I prefer email/IM or in person. But I try to meet a guy ASAP so no one wastes any time. I do talk to him on the phone briefly before a meet, though, due to a bad experience in the past. The guy had a very feminine voice, but I never heard him on the phone beforehand, so it was horror when I met him.

But, in general, I don't have conversations on the phone with anyone.

Avatar for calilawgirl
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
Fri, 08-26-2005 - 11:32am

I had to laugh when I read your post. The same thing happened to me.

I once had a great chat with a guy on jdate. We were both free and bored one Sunday afternoon, so we decided to meet for a drink in a public place. I had seen his picture. But hadn't spoken to himn on the phone. As soon as I saw him and he opened his mouth to speak, I was so turned off. He was very affeminate. But hey, at least the mojito was good. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2005
Fri, 08-26-2005 - 1:57pm

Isn't it so interesting how someones voice can be a turn off lol.

That has happened to me a few times..so I completely agree with you guys.

GM

We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.
Avatar for travkitty
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2003
Fri, 08-26-2005 - 2:36pm

Well, a little effeminate is one thing, but this guy had a FEMALE voice. As in, if I closed my eyes I wouldn't even think that I was talking to a guy. It was so eerie that my friends theorized that perhaps he used to be a "she", which I suppose is totally possible with modern medicine.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2005
Fri, 08-26-2005 - 3:09pm
I have no problem with IM with friends of all sorts and am not all that comfortable on the phone plus there's the $ thing - I pay a flat rate for internet service so why use up all my cell minutes? (I don't have a land line)