Impatience is not appealing

Avatar for travkitty
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2003
Impatience is not appealing
16
Fri, 11-03-2006 - 3:36am

Ok, so a really nice looking attorney responded to my CL ad. We exchanged a couple emails, he sends me his number. The unfortunate part is that I came down with a massive sinus infection this week & have been in bed for about 90% of this week when not at work (I practically have to be on deathbed to call in sick for work). So I sent him an email on Wednesday saying he would probably not get that phone call for a few days because I have a cold (I thought I just had a cold, got the infection diagnosis from the doc yesterday & now my voice is shot because of the drainage from the meds). He send me this email last night:

Annie,
I'm not trying to be rude, but I'm getting the impression you are
jerking me
around. If you are really interested in getting to know me, I look
forward
to your call. Otherwise, please stop writing me. I hope to hear from
you.

Mike

Now, I can understand his impatience...but if someone is truly sick, it would make sense that this week would not be good for calling. This email rubbed me the wrong way. Should I just write him off as an ass & ghost, should I send another email? I can't call him because my voice isn't back yet (though I am feeling better sinus-wise, thank God). I really liked him thus far, so I'm disappointed in this email. I'm leaning toward calling him with the crappy voice, so maybe he'll feel a little guilty for doubting me. Oh, I hate being that way, though.

Thoughts?




Edited 11/3/2006 4:38 am ET by travkitty

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Avatar for travkitty
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2003
Sun, 11-05-2006 - 5:12pm

I decided to send him a final email telling him what a GREAT first impression he made upon me & that he needs to change his tactics if that's how he tries to impress a girl. I have other guys I'm talking to who were actually offering to bring me soup or medicine...I don't need jerks like him (I didn't say that last sentence to him...just to you guys). I then blocked his email address.

Will it tell him, if he writes back (you know he will) that he was blocked on Yahoo?

Of course, he'll probably label me a psycho now, affirming in his mind that my email was unstable or something like that. Oh well, he wasn't for me!




Edited 11/5/2006 5:15 pm ET by travkitty
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 11-05-2006 - 5:27pm

No...I've tested it and you don't get any message saying you are blocked. Blocked emails just go off into cyberspace somewhere ;-).

What happened to your idea of calling him? I'm not saying you should have...I'm just curious what happened to change your mind?

Sheri

Avatar for travkitty
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2003
Sun, 11-05-2006 - 5:45pm
Because it takes energy for me to talk & it induces a lot of coughing. I'm so sick of coughing (even pulled a back muscle today while coughing) that I decided he wasn't worth the energy. Seriously, how can you build a relationship without trust? Granted, he doesn't know me from Eve, but if you're already defensive going in, it's not going to work.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 11-05-2006 - 5:57pm

Oh, I would agree with the latter point re his defensiveness...I was just curious why you had changed your mind about calling him...and being tired of coughing is as good a reason as any ;-)!! Sorry to hear about you pulling a back muscle, yikes!! Hope you feel better soon.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2006
Sun, 11-05-2006 - 8:09pm

Hi travkitty,

This is my first time posting on this board. I was just peeking after having spent some time on the breaking up is hard to do board.

I have to say . . . you girls are tough! I wonder if I'm just a pushover, since I'm the only way to say this, but the poor guy. I didn't think he was being rude at all!! He even said "I don't mean to be rude . . ."

He hadn't met you yet, just gave you his number and you told him that you had a cold. Well, to some people, a cold is just a cold. Later, your cold turned into something more serious, but he didn't know that. (I hope you're feeling better by the way.) So, in his mind, he is looking forward to hearing from you, but you tell him that you aren't calling him because you have a cold. If I guy told me he wasn't calling me b/c he had a cold, I would think "buck up bucky and get on the phone." And, sometimes when I have a cold, it can really knock my socks off, so even though I know colds can be tough, I still wouldn't give a guy the benefit of the doubt.

Also, you don't know this guy at all. When you don't know someone and you don't know their history, it's impossible to know where the person is coming from. I really don't think he was being rude at all, just being up-front and communicating . . . which aren't exactly the most prominent qualities in men.

Also, I think guys do get jerked around a lot on-line. Lots of people will e-mail on and on, but then lose interest when it comes time for the phone call. He probably wanted to get to know you more, but thought you were going to blow him off, and so he was up-front and asked so as to end the anticipation . . . the waiting for the phone.

I don't know. Just my thoughts.

lil lil kitty

Avatar for travkitty
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2003
Sun, 11-05-2006 - 8:23pm

I can understand what you're saying. However, I felt like he was calling me a liar in a way. Sorry, but I won't accept that from someone I've known forever, let alone someone with which I've exchanged 2 emails.

It's funny, but I know a lot of lawyer, several in my family, & most of them have ZERO tact just like this guy. Most of them ARE rude (my uncles included) & it just turned me off. I have this weird fixation with justice & fairness (which is challenged constantly in this world) so when someone accuses me of lying, I won't stand for it.

Like I said, a couple of the other guys I've been communicating with have been emailing me periodically asking if I'm feeling better, if I need cough medicine or soup...NOT accusing me of blowing them off. That's just negativity I don't need...I get enough of that at work. LOL!

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