The importance of just one sentence.

Avatar for travkitty
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2003
The importance of just one sentence.
12
Tue, 01-24-2006 - 6:45pm

Okay, I had what I thought was a good response from my Craigslist ad. He basically just gave me a 2 sentence reply in the original reply:

"Strong women don't intimidate me. not a sports fan but I do love the arts. I am romantic love cats, dogs are OK bu more in small doses. Don't have children not want any specifically. No musical ability but can write poetry and paint a pretty picture."

That's a pretty bland answer, but enough for me to send him an email saying thanks & please tell me more specifics about yourself & to include a pic (I said only emails with pics would be considered since I'd send one in return...so he wasn't even following instructions in the beginning but I thought I'd cut him some slack).

Anyway, this is the reply to that:

"Well here is a pic of me ... all dressed up and now where to go ... tell you more ... hmm ... lets see why don't you tell me if you like my pic, send me one of yours ... and we'll go from there? Its not that I am being difficult but it just seem that when somebody asks for a pic right off the bat ... that tends to be the most important thing to them ... every else comes secondary. "

Now, at this point I haven't even downloaded the picture. HOwever, I'm IMMEDIATELY turned off by this reply. He's judging me even though he didn't even include the pic in the initial email as I asked, nor has be even provided any real info about himself. Am I off base in being turned off by this? To answer the question I'm sure you're thinking...he wasn't a troll, but I wasn't terribly attracted to his picture either. There's no telling how much more attractive I might have found his picture (or subsequent info about himself in future emails) if he hadn't turned me off right off the bat like that. Good, just give the woman a backhanded insult to impress her...great idea.

Sorry, just a vent. Some people...

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2005
Tue, 01-24-2006 - 7:00pm
Honestly, when I do CL, I sometimes send just a picture. The men (and women, on DFW CL) are so shallow that it's a huge time saver. Let's face it, those are a group of people who really do care about looks first.


Avatar for travkitty
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2003
Tue, 01-24-2006 - 7:03pm
Well, I won't lump everyone into that group. Looks aren't the most important thing to me, but I'll be honest that they are part of the package. Since I normally post a picture on Match or Yahoo, I'm perfectly ready to send a pic to someone right away. I don't post one on CL because some people can be really cruel on there & why open myself up to public ego bashing when I can avoid it. Anyone who claims that attraction doesn't play a BIG part of dating is in denial, IMO, or just not very selective.


Edited 1/24/2006 7:04 pm ET by travkitty
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Tue, 01-24-2006 - 7:25pm

Honestly, I can undestand his frustration. Nothing to do with you trav, obviously but being rejected time and time again b/c of a picture can definitely cause a person to be stand-offish about it and just hope to find someone who will give them a chance.


I understand your frustration, but I guess I also see it from his side...


Avatar for travkitty
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2003
Tue, 01-24-2006 - 7:27pm
I can see it from his side, too. In fact, I've thought what he said on more than one occasion, or I did back when I got more bent out of shape about it. The fact that he actually said that, basically calling me shallow indirectly, I felt was out of line.
Avatar for travkitty
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2003
Tue, 01-24-2006 - 7:28pm

Good gawd!

What is in the water today?

I had another guy IM me on Yahoo....seemed normal enough, asked me what I did for fun, then when I asked the same, he says "porn is fun to watch sometimes."

NEXT!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Tue, 01-24-2006 - 7:48pm
Honestly, I wouldn't take it personally. Based on the response, I get that he has had a few negative experiences... Definitely nothing to do with you personally. Hope this helps?

Avatar for travkitty
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2003
Tue, 01-24-2006 - 7:53pm
I know it's not a personal attack on me. However, it did turn me off before even seeing his picture. Hey, first impressions matter & he dropped the ball. Just like really bad grammar & spelling or sex talk right away might be a turnoff, I get enough responses to not waste my time on someone who is negative from the get-go. That's just a big turnoff for me as someone who has always absorbed moods from people around me. Maybe I'm just still in a bad mood...dunno.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Tue, 01-24-2006 - 7:54pm
I agree, normally if a guy im's me and one of the first things he asks me if I have a picture, I usually say no and move on. I'm not interested.
Avatar for travkitty
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2003
Tue, 01-24-2006 - 8:00pm
But that's why I always post a picture (other than CL) so that is NEVER a problem. If he contacts me, he already likes what he sees. I also never wink, icebreak or email someone who has no picture posted.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Tue, 01-24-2006 - 8:45pm

Ok, I was gonna be a smartie about the grammar thing but I won't be! :o) But I hear ya girl... if he turns you off, he turns you off. Period, end of story. Ne-ne-next! hehehe


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