Is this important or stupid?
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Is this important or stupid?
| Mon, 02-21-2005 - 11:21pm |
I met a guy online in late December, and we have had several dates. So far I have liked this man a lot, and he has seemed like a good, caring person. Today I found out that he has (I think--not absolutely sure) shaved two years off the age he put in his online dating profile. If he HAS taken two years off his legal age, how important is this? Obviously it is a lie, but like I said--how important should I consider it? He has never actually told me his age, but I am going by the age in the dating profile. By the way, we are both over 65. Let me thank you for any feedback ahead of time. I appreciate your opinions.

Hi, tea4all, and welcome to the board.
In my honest opinion, anyone who shaves years off his age wants to stay in a certain age bracket, the better to be searched out by younger people.
As for the lie, I know several people would *next* him. Once a liar, always a liar. OLD men tend to lie in a few consistent areas: age, height and weight. In your place, and if I really liked him, I would be concerned enough to talk about it with him. It is definitely what we call a red flag.
In any case, you don't really know that he lied? What has set you off thinking he did? I would really be certain of my facts before confronting him.
amjay
Hmmm. Well, the info could still be wrong. But I would be cautious with him and what he says.
tea4all, I know it doesn't sound like a big deal (2 years off age), but since getting involved in OLD last year I have met with such dishonesty that I take quite a hard line with it. Exception was the fellow who lied about his height. I guess he felt pretty safe with me, since I'm only 5'1" and he stated he was 5'8". Unknown to him, a good friend is 5'8" and this fellow was nowhere near that. Anyway, that lie was only amusing to me.
As always, go with your instincts. You have been checking him out and that is a very wise thing to do with anyone met online.
Good luck, whatever you decide to do!
amjay
Hmmm. Well, ordinarily I would say that it's a lie, but you can't be sure that the white pages information is correct, either.
I'd vote for "not quite enough information" but I'm leaning towards stupid. Frankly, by the time I'm in my late 60's, I doubt that two years of age will make much of a difference at all in terms of doing OLD. :)
>>To most people in this country a man of that age is an old guy regardless of which age he claims.<<
You know... I am embarrassed to admit it, but the first couple of times I typed my response, they were variations on saying EXACTLY that. :O
It was like "holy cow- if you're past 65, two years doesn't make any difference- you're old either way!" or things like that. :)
But I was remembering my grandfather, who was active and certainly NOT "old" until maybe a year or two before he died... at age 90! And the more I think about it, the more I realize that what we used to think of as "old"- say, 60, 65ish, and up- there's tons and tons more people who are that age but who are just as active and having fun and doing things as stupid young nitwits like me in our mid-30s. :)
So I'd say that the age thing... don't worry about it. First of all, you don't know if it's right, and secondly, since it really doesn't make very much difference and since what matters to you in this case is what a nice guy he is, run with that. Besides, it might just be a vanity thing, as opposed to an active-intent-to-mislead thing.
I will say this- to be honest, I hope to hell that I'm not single from NOW until I'm 70something. But if I do wind up single when I'm that age, sure, I'll do online dating and romance- or whatever they have 40 years from now! :)
"So if you're discouraged about the progress you are making in the love and romance department, just remember that you still won't be too old--even at 60 or 70 or 80."
Thank you so much for saying that. Made my day.
Lisa
Hi Tea,
I will be 49 in April...I feel 28!
"Age is a calendar page".
Best of the best to you for being Who you are, no matter what age that Is! I remember thinking how "old" i thought my Mom was when she turned 40! :) But, life is so much in your heart and in your mind. I don't think we ever give up the Hope of finding someone who is a friend/lover/ally in this life.
The two years? Hmmmm....guess it is worth considering, but not worth ruining the relationship over. Maybe you could say you got your new license and hate the photo, "let's compare"! I dated a man I liked a lot who I am Sure was closer to 55 than the 50 he listed on his profile. But...at 55 the Hooters Girls he sought would not bat an Eyelash to look his way!? Hmmmpfh!
Oh well....live and learn...No matter what your age! Hope you enjoy the wonderful,honest support you wil surely find on this board. They Rock!
Truly,
Cupcake