Indecisiveness..driving me crazy!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Indecisiveness..driving me crazy!
9
Fri, 07-01-2005 - 12:08pm
Motorcycle guy and I have been emailing the past several days and text messaged a few times yesterday. Earlier in the week he mentioned getting together this weekend (he said he was supposed to play golf but could blow it off). Then he says he'll let me know Thursday becuase his truck was in the shop. So he called last night and we talked for almost 2 hrs, which was fine with me. We talked about getting together near him (he's 2 1/2 hrs away) and going out on his boat. Then he said due to weather he'd let me know Friday whether it would be Saturday or Sunday. So I emailed him this morning and said Sunday would work better for me. He responds that would be fine and what did I want to do? Then he lists about 6 things we could do. HELLO...didn't we decide on a boat ride?!!! Now he's suggesting getting together someplace more inbetween OR having dinner and a movie OR taking a bike ride OR boating OR hang out at his pool OR what I want to do!! WTH!! Make up your mind already! It's driving me crazy.... Any advice!??? (and I guess the golf thing just went away!!)
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Fri, 07-01-2005 - 12:35pm

I notice this type of situation is common with OLD -- ie lots of Active People With Lots to Do talking about what to do but not always doing it.

Here's what I do with these people. This most likely stems from the fact that I detest chatting on the phone so much that I've become efficient with words. What I call being proactive -- the slightest mention of Doing Something and I leap into commitment mode. When? Where? What? Okay, it's a date. Let's touch base on X-day to firm things up. See ya!

donna, if you've spoken for 2 hours on the phone and still haven't solidified plans, you need to be more proactive. For example, when he listed the 6 Things We Could Do, in your place I would have jumped in with the thing I really wanted to do. Simple as that.

The added bonus here, donna, is if you took a more proactive role in your dating life you wouldn't have to wonder about so many things.

amjay

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 07-01-2005 - 12:42pm
very true....and actually I did last night on the phone. I told him I'd like to go fishing on his boat but then this morning's email throws all that other stuff in!! And, all of it sounds great. I think I'll just put all of the ideas in a hat and pull one out!! and tell him this is definite! :-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 07-01-2005 - 1:17pm
okay, I wrote back and jokingly said D. all of the above!! LOL
then I said let's go boating and get lunch.
So, hopefully that will be it!! Decision made.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 07-01-2005 - 1:39pm
I'm posting here to get out my frustration..!!
he emails back and says "cool, I'll let you decide what to do. So when will you arrive Sunday so I will know what I need to do tomorrow."
umm... I DID DECIDE!! my head is spinning....
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Fri, 07-01-2005 - 1:43pm

It is still simple, if you want it to be. "Like I said, I want to go boating. Will get there around x o'clock. See ya!"

End of convo.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 07-01-2005 - 2:00pm
I know...but I was hoping that he'd come up with alittle part of the plan!! Like, saying 'see you at noon'.!! TGIF!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Fri, 07-01-2005 - 2:27pm
It actually sounded like you expected him to come up with Every part of the plan! Read over your posts, he has been actively seeking time with you. Isn't this a good thing?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 07-01-2005 - 2:47pm
yes, and you're right...as usual!! it's just the old fashion person in me coming out...I'll be fine!! thanks.....
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2005
Fri, 07-01-2005 - 5:45pm

Hey Donna, have a great time with motorcycle guy!

Sunshine