Infrequent emails... busy grad student?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2006
Infrequent emails... busy grad student?
6
Tue, 09-19-2006 - 12:39am
Hi there, I met a guy online about 3 weeks ago. At first, we were emailing about twice a day, then after a week it went to about once a week. All of these were amazing, long emails that showed a TON of interest on his part (and mine). After a week & a half, he didn't email me for 7 days.. He had also removed his pictures from the site. I closed him out, then thought better of it and re-opened the match, explaining to him that I had made a mistake and closed him out accidentally. I also explained that I noticed that his pictures were off, and if he was not interested in communicating I would understand. He wrote back a few hours later, saying he didn't mind continuing communication at all, that he had enjoyed our emails. Then he asked a couple of questions, giving me the impression that he was interested. He's in grad school and is VERY busy, my feeling is that he couldn't handle any more communication so he removed his pictures. I'm just wondering if I'm fooling myself here, if he's just too nice to tell me he's not interested. For now, I'm leaving the match open but waiting to see just how long it takes him to email me again. It's now been 3 days again, but I want to give him time to respond, since he's so busy. I don't mind getting to know someone slowly who is busy with school, I'm in no rush, just want the right guy! He seemed very promising.. Any ideas?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2005
Tue, 09-19-2006 - 11:53am

Hello,

While it may be true that he's busy, let me share a pearl of wisdom one of the ladies on this board once shared with me: If a man is really interested he will always find the time to write back a little something... If he is not, chances are he may have lost interest. I suggest giving him a week or so. Meanwhile, you could sent him a short
email saying something like: "Hi, hope you are doing fine...don't work too hard."

Whatever you do don't write something along the the lines of: "Since I have not heard from you in a while I guess you aren't interested in me anymore" That's a surefire way to lose a guy in less than 10 day. ;-) Trust me, I learned this the hard way ;-)

Best of luck
W.




Edited 9/19/2006 12:10 pm ET by funnywinnie10
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2005
Tue, 09-19-2006 - 12:14pm
I would say, keep talking to him, but talk to other people as well. I tend to put all my eggs in one basket with guys and it leads to disappoint. Its why i started doing online dating...more opportunity to meet more people and be talking to lots of guys at once. He may be really busy...but I would be a little put off by not hear from him for 7 days when normally you heard from him frequently...but again keep talking to him, but let him make the next move since you asked if he wanted to keep talking.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2006
Tue, 09-19-2006 - 12:24pm

Hey there,

Just an update - he wrote a short but "peppy" message this morning, with open-ended questions, which must be a good thing... I'm going to wait a bit to write him back, like at least a day. Then see how long it takes him each time to write to me.

Thanks for all your input!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2005
Tue, 09-19-2006 - 12:46pm
Yes .... good for you
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Tue, 09-19-2006 - 1:24pm
I've been a graduate student. The work can completely consume and overwhelm you even when you are not actually at work. When this is happening, it can be hard to do your laundry let alone develop a new friendship. I would give him the benefit of the doubt, replying on a similar, but shorter time-scale than him and continue corresponding with others. Let his replies be pleasant surprises.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Tue, 09-19-2006 - 5:34pm
The thing that got me is that he said "he didn't MIND communicating with you still"?
heather 5-18-10