Initial Attraction to Photo
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| Fri, 11-11-2005 - 5:29pm |
I am wondering if finding someone's picture attractive is a good indicator of future interest. What I mean is, I can look at hundreds of guy's photos that I find objectively attractive, but they don't do "it" for me. However, once in awhile I'll see a guys photo that really interests me, though rarely. I haven't really ever followed thru, yet, on getting to know a guy I was really attracted to. Usually a bunch of guys email me that I don't find particular attractive, or if I do, I don't sense any spark, but I email them back anyway.
Anyway, I'm just wondering what other people's experience here has been as far as finding someone's picture attractive vs. emailing/dating those that they don't feel particularly attracted to initially but may learn to enjoy their personalities. Does it work out better when or if you're attracted immediately? Or is it just as well to give lots of guys a "chance" that you may or may not be that interested in based on appearance. Just wondering. Thanks!

That’s a good question. Yes, if I look at them and think immediately “no way” then I hit delete if there’s a maybe or hmmmm then I might click on the link, see the other photos then read to see if we’re a good match based on what they wrote. I will say some men’s main photos are deceiving as in once you click on the add and look at the other photos added (which look NOTHING like the first main photo) then I may pass for sure on that. That’s why it’s wise to ask how recent their pictures are and if they have more than one.
There has to be something that draws me in physically though – he does not need to be above average looks but something – a smile or his eyes or skin tone – combination of things – for each of us it’s very much individual. Some guys love petite chicks like me and others specify 5’6” or taller.
SP
I admit that the first thing I notice is the photo and I'll read through the profile if he's cute or appealing in some way. For instance, I once got a message from a guy who wasn't all that attractive, but he was pictured with his dog (I love animals), and had a pleasant smile, so I took an interest in reading more about him.
I've never chosen to correspond with someone strictly based on looks, however.
I hear what you're saying. However, I think the first poster understood what I was getting at more. What my point was is that I wonder if you can sense something about a person just from their photo. For example, I was really drawn to a particular photo, which rarely ever happens, and I liked what he had to say, too. I guess what I'm wondering here is how much do genetic characteristics, similarities, etc. show in the photo(s) and how telling are they about potential compatability. I also think people's life styles show a lot in their appearances, especially after they get older. Also predominant attitudes show-up in the lines of the facial expressions.
I just know that for me, I can begin corresponding with several guys, "hoping" that there's something there but not really believing there is. However, sometimes I feel an instant affinity with someone. Fortunately or not, I've never followed-up on these "hunches", if you will. I wonder if anyone has and what the results were. I know I've tried to accept forcing intimacy, or having it forced on me, and it just doesn't work.
I think a reaction to a photo can often be different than the feeling you get when you meet them in real life.
Being sexual attracted to someone from seeing a photo or seeing them from afar is natural but that’s just part of the equation. I know I have seen a really cute guy from across the room only to find that he can’t complete a thought or hold a conversation. I have also met someone online, his photo was cute and he could write like a dream. When I met him in person his personality stunk. I left.
Amy www.chicagocatholic.net