Initial Attraction to Photo

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2004
Initial Attraction to Photo
7
Fri, 11-11-2005 - 5:29pm

I am wondering if finding someone's picture attractive is a good indicator of future interest. What I mean is, I can look at hundreds of guy's photos that I find objectively attractive, but they don't do "it" for me. However, once in awhile I'll see a guys photo that really interests me, though rarely. I haven't really ever followed thru, yet, on getting to know a guy I was really attracted to. Usually a bunch of guys email me that I don't find particular attractive, or if I do, I don't sense any spark, but I email them back anyway.

Anyway, I'm just wondering what other people's experience here has been as far as finding someone's picture attractive vs. emailing/dating those that they don't feel particularly attracted to initially but may learn to enjoy their personalities. Does it work out better when or if you're attracted immediately? Or is it just as well to give lots of guys a "chance" that you may or may not be that interested in based on appearance. Just wondering. Thanks!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2005
Fri, 11-11-2005 - 6:14pm

That’s a good question. Yes, if I look at them and think immediately “no way” then I hit delete if there’s a maybe or hmmmm then I might click on the link, see the other photos then read to see if we’re a good match based on what they wrote. I will say some men’s main photos are deceiving as in once you click on the add and look at the other photos added (which look NOTHING like the first main photo) then I may pass for sure on that. That’s why it’s wise to ask how recent their pictures are and if they have more than one.

There has to be something that draws me in physically though – he does not need to be above average looks but something – a smile or his eyes or skin tone – combination of things – for each of us it’s very much individual. Some guys love petite chicks like me and others specify 5’6” or taller.

SP

 
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2005
Fri, 11-11-2005 - 10:49pm

I admit that the first thing I notice is the photo and I'll read through the profile if he's cute or appealing in some way. For instance, I once got a message from a guy who wasn't all that attractive, but he was pictured with his dog (I love animals), and had a pleasant smile, so I took an interest in reading more about him.

I've never chosen to correspond with someone strictly based on looks, however.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2005
Sat, 11-12-2005 - 11:06am
there is nothing wrong with noticing a picture first. something has to catch your eye right! and there is something about really knowing what a guy looks like before getting to know him. think about it, if you meet someone on the street what do you notice first? probably looks. it's not like its the only thing you want to know about them anyways. ive had it go both ways before. getting to know someone who didnt have a picture but seemed really nice and getting to know someone because of there picture. and even if they are good looking doesnt mean they are a good person. you have to get to know someone to know that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2004
Sat, 11-12-2005 - 4:14pm

I hear what you're saying. However, I think the first poster understood what I was getting at more. What my point was is that I wonder if you can sense something about a person just from their photo. For example, I was really drawn to a particular photo, which rarely ever happens, and I liked what he had to say, too. I guess what I'm wondering here is how much do genetic characteristics, similarities, etc. show in the photo(s) and how telling are they about potential compatability. I also think people's life styles show a lot in their appearances, especially after they get older. Also predominant attitudes show-up in the lines of the facial expressions.

I just know that for me, I can begin corresponding with several guys, "hoping" that there's something there but not really believing there is. However, sometimes I feel an instant affinity with someone. Fortunately or not, I've never followed-up on these "hunches", if you will. I wonder if anyone has and what the results were. I know I've tried to accept forcing intimacy, or having it forced on me, and it just doesn't work.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Sat, 11-12-2005 - 4:37pm

I think a reaction to a photo can often be different than the feeling you get when you meet them in real life.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2005
Sat, 11-12-2005 - 4:38pm

Being sexual attracted to someone from seeing a photo or seeing them from afar is natural but that’s just part of the equation. I know I have seen a really cute guy from across the room only to find that he can’t complete a thought or hold a conversation. I have also met someone online, his photo was cute and he could write like a dream. When I met him in person his personality stunk. I left.

Amy www.chicagocatholic.net

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2004
Sun, 11-13-2005 - 12:48pm
You both make very valid points. I guess I was kind of hoping for some kind of "magic formula". I don't really like the dating process at all. I guess OLD is better than some ways because of the block feature. It's always the bad ones that are so persistent it seems like. I have a hard time with boundary issues. Maybe I can get support from the people here from time to time. I'm hoping I can find some patient guys. It seems like even the relatively normal guys want to start out quickly or not at all, but maybe that's just been my experience so far.