the initial meeting was very blah

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-13-2006
the initial meeting was very blah
4
Fri, 01-19-2007 - 8:57am

I have been emailing a guy for a couple weeks, and have really been excited to meet him. We talked once on the phone, and while it wasn't bad, I didn't really feel any sparks. I thought that maybe that was just due to nerves, so I agreed that we should meet up. In emails since then, we also decided to go out to dinner this Saturday and see a local band. Last night we had meeting number 1. While it was very nice and we sat and talked for a long time, I felt NOTHING. I kind of wanted to run out of there.

Any advice for how I should handle the dinner we have planned for this weekend? Do I go ahead and go?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Fri, 01-19-2007 - 12:02pm

Yes, go ahead and go because 1) it's rude to cancel when you already made plans AND it's tomorrow and 2) you should give it one more chance. Sometimes sparks are not instant. You said you didn't have a BAD time, just mostly that it wasn't there. Well, give it one more shot and if it still isn't there, just don't plan any more dates with him. If he asks say something like "I've enjoyed meeting you, but this isn't really the connection I am looking for." Chances are, he feels it too but since you already had the second date planned before the first :-) he decided to go through with it too. Hey, it's a couple more hours out of your life - why not go ahead and go out with him again. Gets you out of the house on a Saturday night and you can have another "nice" time.

And just a suggestion for next time, while it's good to have some level of "excitement" when meeting someone you've been talking to online, it's also a good idea to keep expectations realistic. Often the connection online doesn't translate to real life so it's better to just try to keep that in mind before you meet someone. You don't want to go in with the attitude that it WON'T work, but just stay positive without getting overly excited. JMHO.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2008
Fri, 01-19-2007 - 5:56pm

Eeek, how'd you get yourself in this bind!?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-13-2006
Fri, 01-19-2007 - 6:05pm

Yeah, it's kind of complicated how the whole 2nd date ended up being planned before the first even happened...
We were discussing doing dinner or just meeting for coffee, then went on to bands we like to see. I mentioned a band that I like was playing on Saturday, and he suggested, "Well, let's just do coffee Thursday, then we can grab dinner and check out the band on Saturday!"
I am going to go, but it's just a little odd how these things happen. :-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Fri, 01-19-2007 - 9:51pm
Yep- I agree, go ahead & go. Sometimes a 1st meet isnt great b/c there are nerves, etc. & dinner is more stressful than a concert type thing. So give Sat a shot & who knows ... you may come back with a totally different story!

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