Input/thoughts wanted.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2005
Input/thoughts wanted.
11
Tue, 11-01-2005 - 11:58am

Ronnie honestly is the best guy I have dated ever.

CL-Truewild1969

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 11-01-2005 - 12:13pm

Isn't it illegal to do that?

I personally would have trouble dating someone who had no respect for the law (whether he agrees with the law or not), in addition to the safety issue.

I think you did just fine...this is a serious values issue and if you can't at least compromise on such a serious issue, then a future together would be unlikely, IMO.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Tue, 11-01-2005 - 1:18pm

I would feel the same.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2005
Tue, 11-01-2005 - 1:22pm

Jodie, it's against the law to NOT wear a seatbelt. If he is okay with his daughter riding in the front seat without one then I suppose he would do the same with your own children. I can't believe he is that rigid and now supposedly is going to make sure she wears one because you gave him an ultimatum. Time will tell.

No you were not harsh and handled it well.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Tue, 11-01-2005 - 1:24pm

I'd have done the same. Even if the law didn't require a chld to be in the back, letting her ride in the front seat is child endangerment. It's as negligent as letting her play with knives or matches.

BTW - the seatbelt isn't enough. She belongs in a car seat.


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2005
Tue, 11-01-2005 - 1:50pm

"BTW - the seatbelt isn't enough. She belongs in a car seat."

CL-Truewild1969

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2005
Tue, 11-01-2005 - 3:46pm
Great idea about the gift! Possibly noone has ever mentioned it to him before. Car seat and seatbelt is a must! Also, those airbags (in the front) are not safe to children either. My son is 10 and still rides in the backseat. (smile)
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2004
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 2:54pm

there are laws in different states

some require all front seat passengers to wear seatbelts and laws that require children either a certain age or weight to still be in a car seat in the back seat because of airbags.

if it is something y0u feel that strongly about then yes you did the right thing. and i admire him he respected and valued your opinion and maybe needed to think more about it.. sometimes we don't always see things until someone else points it out. it shows to me he cares about his child, and you and that he is one to try and make things work and make improvements where they need be. hopefully he will stick to it and continue to put her in the back belted even when you are NOT w/ them.

I had a very similar situation occur about my values about something w/ the current bf's child and the outcome was similar.. it could have made me happier that he agreed but we too had to work through it a bit. it is hard to change patterns and sometimes again others do not see harm where we may

good for you Jodie!!!!!!!!!! :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2004
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 9:29pm
It was great to hear you feel so strongly about that. My ex and I separated and then divorced when my daughter was two. He obviously already ahd the first GF ready to go. Well, she was a witch and he went along with it for about 5 yrs. He wouldn't put her in a seatbelt and actually had the nerve to tell me that, and I quote "If it's a bad enough accident, she'll get hurt anyway." Let it be known he is a cop and the rule in our state is they must be in a seat (child or infant depending on age) until they are 8yrs. old or 80 pounds. I tried to fight him on this and it was stated int he court papers he had to have her in a seat, but he ignored it. I even went to his dept. over it and they even said he was probably not putting her in the seat because I wanted him to do so. What really ticks me off is that the son that resulted from his relationship wiht her is always in a seat. Not that I wish him harm, (he really likes me), but I just say it says volumes about how much concern he has for my daughter. I'll get off my venting, but it hit a nerve. On a good note, the woman he's engaged to now is good to my daughter. Though she only sees him about once a month, if that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2004
Thu, 11-03-2005 - 8:06pm

Wow.... Jodie, this is a tough one.

While of course you're right -- I don't think any of us would argue that the child should NOT be in a seatbelt/childseat/back seat... I'm having a hard time getting my arms around this being a relationship ender. Not that I think it SHOULDN'T be, necessarily, it just seems kind of harsh.

That said (gee... I don't know that I've ever been wishywashy on ANYTHING!!) I'm glad it worked out favorably!!

Tracy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2003
Fri, 11-04-2005 - 7:58am

Jodie, that was a very graceful way to put it. Nice job -- and the fact that you're still together and things are good shows you handled it well.

I am continually amazed at the people I see with kids in the front seat, or not buckled, or both. I have had to restrain myself from talking to perfect strangers about this -- you also still see so many kids riding bikes on major busy roads without helmets. I can't imagine there's anybody anywhere who doesn't know by now that children should be buckled and in the back, but apparently, the message still has a way to get out.

You could also have pointed out to him that with the probability of serious injury or death so high for people in accidents without belts, he has used up his chances!

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