Interest Level?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2003
Interest Level?
5
Sat, 11-05-2005 - 10:01pm

I met someone online, and we've been communicating pretty regularly. We've sent quite a few emails and have spoken on the phone a few times. He always ends the call by saying that he will call me again in a few days, and he follows through in doing so, but he hasn't mentioned anything about us meeting in person which has me concerned. In his profile, he wrote that he likes to take time to get to know someone, but shouldn't that be in person?

Could he be only somewhat interested in me? If that is the case, why would he send me a text message, email, and call me all in the same day? Should I make the move and suggest that we meet? I don't want unrealistic expectations to be built up from all of this communication that isn't in person. The emails and phone calls are great initially, but at some point it is just time to meet in person. What should I do? Should I wait for him to ask me out or cut to the chase and suggest that we meet?

Thanks in advance for any advice that you can give.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2005
In reply to: freesia3
Sat, 11-05-2005 - 10:18pm
The next time you talk to him, ask him when he intends to meet you in person. If he balks or puts it off, get rid of him. He's wasting your time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2005
In reply to: freesia3
Sat, 11-05-2005 - 10:32pm
Don't let this be a potential waste of time and suggest meeting face to face. The way he responds will be very telling. In your communication with him, does he seem assertive or possibly passive-agressive? He could just be waiting for you to suggest meeting.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2003
In reply to: freesia3
Sat, 11-05-2005 - 11:18pm

I think he may be waiting for me to suggest meeting. He might also be a bit "gun-shy" after one of his last meetings with someone that he met online. He told me that, at the end of the date, she basically came on to him very strongly and was making inappropriate sexual comments.

I would hope that he would know me well enough by now to realize that I am nothing like that! :) I suppose he could be overly cautious now because of that past experience.

He had sent me an email on a Friday night basically saying that he didn't have any plans for the evening so that might have been his way of hinting around. If that is is case, why can't he just come right out and suggest that we meet?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2005
In reply to: freesia3
Sun, 11-06-2005 - 1:21am

What do you have to lose? You do want to meet him don't you? You could propose a very casual meeting, a quick tea or coffee perhaps. I once corresponded with someone over email over a period of months and at one point, it just got boring and I started to wonder what was the point if we were never going to meet? I came right out and said this to him, and he agreed, so we met. During that first meeting, I realized I wasn't attracted to him and never saw him again, and he ceased to take up any more of my time and energy.

And it does sound like he's throwing hints as far as not having plans this weekend. Hopefully this isn't always his MO (throwing hints, waiting for the other person to make the move), but maybe he needs some help getting over the initial nervousness of all of this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2003
In reply to: freesia3
Sun, 11-06-2005 - 5:06pm

Thank you for your response. Yes, I do want to meet him in person. I was hoping that he would take the initiative to be the one to ask. Seeing that it doesn't look as though that is going to happen, I guess I will be the one to bring it up. Why can't some guys be forward enough to ask? Yikes! I hope, too, that hinting around doesn't become his MO. That isn't attractive at all.