This is Interesting

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2004
This is Interesting
3
Wed, 10-19-2005 - 9:33pm

I was watching Dr. Phil and he had a 30 year old virgin on there that was saving himself for his soulmate. Dr. Phil doesn't think there is such a thing as a soulmate, and that he doesn't believe in love at first site. He advised the guy to seek an "80%" match. As long as there are no "dealbreakers" a relationship could develop as it's worked on and could grow and flourish.

This guy told Dr. Phil that he had been on 37 dates last year, and not one of them was a match. Dr. Phil told him "you might have missed out on something there, you can't just go out for coffee and know that she is the one."

Did anyone see that episode? I thought the "80%" match comment Dr. Phil made was interesting.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2005
Wed, 10-19-2005 - 10:01pm

Huh! I don't like Dr. Phil, but I gotta say, this time I think he's dead on. I agree 100%. But I've said before that I don't believe in "the one", or "soul-mates"....I believe in chemistry at first sight, but not love at first sight.

I never would have thought I'd find encouragement from Dr. Phil. But actually, I'm getting the encouragement from you jodyannrn, because you shared it...thanks!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Thu, 10-20-2005 - 12:46am

My therapist and I talk about a 90-ish% match.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
Thu, 10-20-2005 - 3:12am

I don’t agree at all. Did Dr Phil ask any questions about the type of women he was dating? I’ve read some threads here of people going on a date with someone that they have no interest in whatsoever. Is he doing the same thing? Dr Phil then adds a caveat “As long as there are no deal breakers”. Did he ask what the deal breakers were? That could be the real problem.

I remember chatting to a friend of mine (who was desperate to get married) and he mentioned that he dated 15 women in the last year and they all lead to nothing. When he told me about a few of them it became obvious why. It had nothing (or everything depending how you look) to do with his percentage requirements. I got the impression that any woman who said ‘yes’ to a date was considered a 100% match. Some women made it clear from the beginning that they were only interested in a friendship but he hoped they would change their mind. They never did.

The number of women I have actually dated is fairly low by comparison, but almost all of them has led to something. The number would be just as high (or higher) if I include the number of women I could have dated. For me, the interest level MUST be high before I even consider a first date or it’s a complete waste of time.