interesting article...
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| Mon, 07-11-2005 - 7:06pm |
Here is an excerpt from an article I came across by Melissa Balmer:
The truth we don't like to face is that finding real romance, finding true love, takes serious effort. We've been raised with the notion that romance should be very easy, that it should just fall into our laps. Year after year we're inundated with the myth of the easy romance in both movies and books...their eyes meet across the room and wham, bam, less than two hours later (or a few hundred pages) they're riding off into the sunset, happily ever after. And that's what we want Damn it! We want it quick, and we want it easy.
But what happens, far too often, when we do fall into quick and easy? At first we're in 7th heaven! Buy do we usually end up living happily ever after? No, usually we end up a few weeks, or a few months later, feeling like we've been sold a used lemon when what we thought we were buying a Ferrari. If we're honest, the guy we were dating thinks the same about us.
Mind you, I'm not dissing instant chemistry. What I'm dissing is our need to find instant attachment before we've taken the time and effort to discover who this new person is, and whether or not they'd really be right for us. Guys are okay with "just dating" why can't women be?
We can! It's high time the single female population make peace with the whole dating game. Each new man you meet doesn't have to meet your friends or family right away. You don't have to sleep with anyone if you're not interested or ready. I know it'll take awhile to get use to this new way of thinking. But whenever you find yourself sliding back to your old ways of making each encounter "too important" remember that a watched kettle never boils, just as a watched phone never rings. I'm not putting a judgment on how quickly you sleep with someone either...this is a about your enjoyment of the encounter sister, not ethics or morality (though do practice safe sex, he's not cute enough to die for).
Let's be honest, sex isn't as easy for most women to enjoy as it is for men. We have complicated sexual plumbing that needs quite a bit of finesse to run smoothly and happily. It's just not that easy to let a brand new man know exactly what you need in order to enjoy the encounter as much as they do. You certainly can't do it if your main motivation is being so liked by the guy that he calls you soon!
It's time to see the creation of our own love lives as a fun adventure rather than a cruel disheartening one. It means you have to take the responsibility for getting out there. It means you have to make yourself available to meet the sort of men you'd be interested in. It means your schedule has to be less about efficiency and more about finding ways to have a good time with the opposite sex. It means you have to learn to laugh at yourself and the silly/bad situations you'll end up finding yourself in every once it awhile. Hey, it's okay! It's all about learning what you want and need, not about being perfect.
| Tue, 07-19-2005 - 9:10pm |
