An interesting twist

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
An interesting twist
4
Mon, 10-16-2006 - 12:14am

An update on the Exclusivity Talk I posted earlier on here.
So I mentioned to him briefly that I would like us to be exclusive and that I dont want him as a F$^k buddy, he did not comment on it and left and I thought we will discuss it some other time since it was breakfast and we both had to go.

I dont hear anything from him for 4 days. then Sunday night after I had already assumed he has disappeared from my life I receive an email with a song he recorded (he writes songs and been in few bands) and the song is about me(titled YOU)! He describes my lifestyle, talks about how I have no dreams(he asked me twice about my dreams and I said I dont have any!!) and then goes on to describe my EMPTY day and how at the end of it "You meet your lover, he is not the one"... it is a beautiful song and I m afraid he publishes it now and the whole world gets to know my boring routine :~)

I m confused. I played the song many times, it was so hurtful to the point I cried.
I dont know what to do! he thinks I have an empty day (I m not working now but I m looking for business ideas and want to have my own business in the future and I support myself financially)

He says in the song that he is not the one... I m not good at understanding men when the speak plain English let alone when I have to decipher poems!

Any advice? thnx I need one desperately since I m too confused and hurt!!! I did not think he can be so hurtful with his music.

PS: if you hear a song on the radio about a woman who has no dreams and lives an empty life... that would be me by the way :~(

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2008
Mon, 10-16-2006 - 12:28am
No way? That's a really hurtful way to break up with someone. Why couldn't have he just told you maturely to your face that you arent the one for him. What is he doing. Are you going to reply to his email? I would pick up the phone and ask him why he would break up with you like that in a song rather than first talking to you in person. He is a big boy and if you had been dating a while he owes you a conversation to your face not through a song. That just seems so hurtful. I'm sorry :(
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2006
Mon, 10-16-2006 - 5:08pm

I'm baffled. I think you should give him the benefit of the doubt and give him a chance to explain his choice before you give up on him completely (or kill him, whichever you are inclined to do).

Whatever he is feeling, It is likely he feels most comfortable expressing it via song. Maybe he just isn't very good at that.

Crazy!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2004
Mon, 10-16-2006 - 8:58pm

As hard as it might be, I would have nothing more to do with him. It is him, not you, who has the problem. He's a totally unkind butt munch.

If he can hurt you this way now, imagine a life with the bumbling idiot!!

Don't give it another thought (I know, not easy, but I've had to have friends tell me many times there is nothing wrong with me, I just am with someone who doesn't have any social skills. He sure as heck sounds challenged in this department.)

Take care! Don't take it personally! He's a butt munch!!!

Chick

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-16-2006 - 9:53pm

I agree that he showed himself to be mean and hurtful and it's a good thing you found this out before your became heavily invested in him emotionally. I do wonder why you told him you have no dreams because of course you do. Do you dream of finding love, of marriage and children someday, or of running a successful business, or furthering your education, or traveling the world, or building a home, or writing a book, or learning a language, or helping the poor, or becoming wealthy or famous or something else entirely?

You must have dreams of something, but perhaps you thought he meant do you have an all-consuming dream/passion for something? It's not unusual not to have a consuming passion for any one thing, but it is unusual for a young adult not to have a job and not to be actively searching for a job/career/business if unemployed. Perhaps he thought you weren't ambitious enough or that you were looking for a man to make your life meaningful (not saying that's true - I have no idea if it is or not - just offering some ideas for thought).

If you think that your life is meaningful, that you have a purpose, and you are working to achieve your dreams, then what he thinks or writes doesn't matter two cents. If YOU think you need more purpose in your life, then it still doesn't mater what he thinks but it does matter that you start working to achieve your goals.