Interesting update

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Interesting update
5
Sun, 01-15-2006 - 7:00am

Things with T (speed dating guy) have improved dramatically. He has definitely relaxed and things (feelings and the way he touches me) are quite different to what they were before. Things seem more natural and he definitely didn't act like my brother at all yesterday and today. Last night he took me to a very romantic dinner, then to the movies. During the movie we started holding hands and things and we held hands as we walked to the car afterwards. He drove me home and I said good night. The next day I went to his place and we were sitting around and he made moves on me and we just ended up cuddling and having a good time.

I just feel I've got to a point with T where I don't really want to run around and see other guys. We haven't said we're exclusive yet, but I don't sense he is seeing someone else. Secondly, I've found myself running here and there going on dates with different guys and I'm just exhausted. I don't feel I need to "keep my options open" and be dating others. If things don't work out with T, well then that would be another story.

What I meant by running around (within 24 hours): yesterday I went to the romantic dinner/movie date with T, then this morning I had coffee with G(No.2) (another OLD first date) and was supposed to go for drinks with G(No.1) and his friends in the afternoon. When I came home from coffee, I got a message from T asking if I wanted to meet up. I didn't give G(No.1) a solid answer to drinks when he asked me the day before, i said I would call and confirm. So for 15 minutes I was standing there thinking, should I see G1 or T. In the end, I went to T's place because I really like him.

When I saw T, he asked me what I got up to in the morning. I couldn't tell him that I went on a date!!! So i had to make up a story... that was bad... afterwards I thought, never again!

I have another date scheduled with G1 on Tuesday (long story, that was our original plan and then yesterday he rang and asked if I wanted to come along to drinks with his friends today). I am going to call him tomorrow and say I might give it a miss... I really don't know what to say... any suggestions?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2005
Sun, 01-15-2006 - 8:21am
How about the truth?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 01-15-2006 - 8:33am

lol... yeah i'm not about to make up a story... was bad enough today! I mean how should I word it? I'm sure he can take it, he's a man!!

"I might give Tuesday a miss. I've actually decided to go out with someone else."?????

Ouch! Not used to dumping.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2005
Sun, 01-15-2006 - 9:12am
Are you *dating*? Is anything *exclusive*? You can do whatever you want and not feel bad about it. You have my permission....lol. Why is everyone scared to tell the truth? I don't get it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Sun, 01-15-2006 - 11:33am
OK, don't not go out with others until you are exclusive with T. And don't make up stories for him either. If you don't want to go out with G1 (or is it G2?), you say "Hey, that sounds like fun but I have other plans. Can we make it another night?" But for now, don't burn bridges. It's good to show guys that you have a life outside of them. If they call you in the morning and ask you out for the afternoon and you always say yes, the thrill of the chase eventually goes away. Until you're exclusive, you don't need to lie and TELL him straigh out that you are dating other people but if you have plans to meet someone else, meet them and go out.


Edited 1/15/2006 11:35 am ET by vexer_hw

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 01-15-2006 - 12:16pm

If you feel more comfortable acting as though you are exclusive with T, even though you haven't discussed it, then that's a valid choice. But don't rely on what you "sense"...confirm it with him if it's important to you. Otherwise, you lose the right to be upset if it turns out that your "sense" was wrong.

As for telling T about your date, all you had to say was "I had coffee with a friend". It's the truth, and it's tactful.

If you decide to cancel on G1, I'd say something like, "I've enjoyed spending time with you, but I've decided to see where things go with one of the other guys I've met." Whatever you say, though, don't be tentative about it (you "might" give it a miss? No, if you're cancelling, you need to cancel, period.).

Sheri