Hal - I may not agree with all your POVs but I do not find your need to express your opinion to be annoying, and in fact, we are all free to do that here as much and as often as we like.
>Hal - I may not agree with all your POVs but I do not find your need to express your opinion to be annoying, and in fact, we are all free to do that here as much and as often as we like.<
I never said his POV or opinion's were annoying, I was AGREEING with him that his need to correct spelling is annoying. I would never tell someone their opinions were annoying, I would just say whether I agree or disagree. Just wanted to clarify that. I see that some people read more into posts than others....
Ok. I understand the confusion now. When I quote someone but don’t know who it was for sure I normally put the name in brackets with a question mark hoping someone will correct me. So I was under the impression when someone writes (sp?) they are requesting the correct spelling. I won't do it again. Maybe that’s why I’m having no luck with Online Dating!?
That website is ridiculous. It's just wrong on so many different levels. I'm not just saying that because it's a site about cheating guys -- I would feel absolutely the same about a website about cheating women. At least we have some women on this board that share that POV.
#1 - you can be certain that there are guys pictured and slammed on that site who never cheated once on their ex-gf. She is mad and vindictive and upset that it's over, and posts him up there for all to see.
#2 - maybe the guy cheated, but there were circumstances involved. Maybe she cheated on him first. There are infinite scenarios. Sure, cheating is wrong, but the people who scan the "profiles" on that site have no idea of all of the details.
#3 - Like Jennie said - even if someone *has* cheated, does it make them undateable? Are you kidding me? So, let's say some guy cheats on his gf and they break it off. He realizes what a horrible thing it was, and really makes a lot of changes in his life. He goes out with someone nice and they don't give him a chance because they see he's now on this site.
I realize my opposition to this makes it look like I must be a cheating type of guy and a site like this strikes a nerve with me. While that can't be farther from the truth, it doesn't matter -- this kind of stuff is just not a good idea. Anyone on the Internet can see these guys pictures. Many millions of people.
So, let's say some guy cheats on his gf and they break it off. He realizes what a horrible thing it was, and really makes a lot of changes in his life. He goes out with someone nice and they don't give him a chance because they see he's now on this site.
I don't think your POV means you are a cheating type of guy, but I am the person you describe.
Bravo, eric. I found the site completely awful and vindictive. It's so open to abuse that it should be taken off the net. It hurts to be cheated on, but revenge is not sweet at all. It may be fun, but you lower yourself as a human being. Better to take it as a learning experience and drive on. I have in the past fantasized many revengeful scenes (my favourite: me walking down the street, looking very good, with a hunk at my side and Loser sees us and regrets he ever ever ever let me go! haha). But I wouldn't stoop, no matter what.
firstamendment, at one time I took an absolutely hard line about the issue of cheating. Then my best friend's husband had an affair. This was a man I thought highly of. So I had to rethink my position. He was still the guy I admired for the last 20 years.
She forgave him, he forgave himself and they lived happily, etc.... I was very proud of both of them for the way they dealt with the situation. After all, he was a faulty human, just like I am (er, human that is, not a man).
I agree Eric. SO many times throughout our lives we will have people purposely trying to hurt us or cheat – whatever. It’s so much better to take the “high road” and know w/out a DOUBT that Karma will come back to get them so you don’t need to lower yourself and make yourself as scummy as they are. To purposely hurt someone is just WRONG be it cheating, abuse, back stabbing, whatever!
Just feel sorry for them and know that either they’ll ‘get it’ or they ‘won’t’ and move onward and upward. They have to live with their conscience you don’t.
I don't know...I have a hard time putting someone who wants to warn other women in the same "scummy" class as someone who is a deliberate liar and cheater.
I guess it depends on your motivation for posting their information, maybe.
As I've said before, I have mixed feelings about these types of sites. On the one hand, I would sure like to have notice that you need to pay close attention to a particular guy. On the other hand, there is definitely the chance of innocent people being dragged through the mud.
Hi Amjay, After lurking through this entire thread, and vascillating on my pov, I finally read something in your post that I can agree with 100%. As much as I hate a cheater, I think that this website is truly awful. How is anyone to know whether the accusations are true and what the circumstances were. I too, have a male friend I greatly respect who's marraige ended because of his affair (I was at their wedding 15 years ago), while I don't know every detail of it and listening to his story (we hadn't spoken in the two years he and his wife had split up and I had only just found out the details a few months ago) I understood what happened. Subseqently the woman he left his wife for, cheated on him and now he has to suffer the humilation of working with this woman AND the guy she cheated on him with (Oh! what a tangled web we weave...). So, as much as I still value his friendship, he got what he deserved and he knows it.
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Hal - I may not agree with all your POVs but I do not find your need to express your opinion to be annoying, and in fact, we are all free to do that here as much and as often as we like.
>Hal - I may not agree with all your POVs but I do not find your need to express your opinion to be annoying, and in fact, we are all free to do that here as much and as often as we like.<
I never said his POV or opinion's were annoying, I was AGREEING with him that his need to correct spelling is annoying. I would never tell someone their opinions were annoying, I would just say whether I agree or disagree. Just wanted to clarify that. I see that some people read more into posts than others....
Edited 10/5/2005 12:24 pm ET by kae_n_me
when I see or type (?)- I assume it means "I am aware I may be spelling the word wrong, but you know what I'm trying to say..."
I'm going to get back on topic here...
That website is ridiculous. It's just wrong on so many different levels. I'm not just saying that because it's a site about cheating guys -- I would feel absolutely the same about a website about cheating women. At least we have some women on this board that share that POV.
#1 - you can be certain that there are guys pictured and slammed on that site who never cheated once on their ex-gf. She is mad and vindictive and upset that it's over, and posts him up there for all to see.
#2 - maybe the guy cheated, but there were circumstances involved. Maybe she cheated on him first. There are infinite scenarios. Sure, cheating is wrong, but the people who scan the "profiles" on that site have no idea of all of the details.
#3 - Like Jennie said - even if someone *has* cheated, does it make them undateable? Are you kidding me? So, let's say some guy cheats on his gf and they break it off. He realizes what a horrible thing it was, and really makes a lot of changes in his life. He goes out with someone nice and they don't give him a chance because they see he's now on this site.
I realize my opposition to this makes it look like I must be a cheating type of guy and a site like this strikes a nerve with me. While that can't be farther from the truth, it doesn't matter -- this kind of stuff is just not a good idea. Anyone on the Internet can see these guys pictures. Many millions of people.
Eric
So, let's say some guy cheats on his gf and they break it off. He realizes what a horrible thing it was, and really makes a lot of changes in his life. He goes out with someone nice and they don't give him a chance because they see he's now on this site.
I don't think your POV means you are a cheating type of guy, but I am the person you describe.
Bravo, eric. I found the site completely awful and vindictive. It's so open to abuse that it should be taken off the net. It hurts to be cheated on, but revenge is not sweet at all. It may be fun, but you lower yourself as a human being. Better to take it as a learning experience and drive on. I have in the past fantasized many revengeful scenes (my favourite: me walking down the street, looking very good, with a hunk at my side and Loser sees us and regrets he ever ever ever let me go! haha). But I wouldn't stoop, no matter what.
firstamendment, at one time I took an absolutely hard line about the issue of cheating. Then my best friend's husband had an affair. This was a man I thought highly of. So I had to rethink my position. He was still the guy I admired for the last 20 years.
She forgave him, he forgave himself and they lived happily, etc.... I was very proud of both of them for the way they dealt with the situation. After all, he was a faulty human, just like I am (er, human that is, not a man).
amjay
I agree Eric. SO many times throughout our lives we will have people purposely trying to hurt us or cheat – whatever. It’s so much better to take the “high road” and know w/out a DOUBT that Karma will come back to get them so you don’t need to lower yourself and make yourself as scummy as they are. To purposely hurt someone is just WRONG be it cheating, abuse, back stabbing, whatever!
Just feel sorry for them and know that either they’ll ‘get it’ or they ‘won’t’ and move onward and upward. They have to live with their conscience you don’t.
SP
I don't know...I have a hard time putting someone who wants to warn other women in the same "scummy" class as someone who is a deliberate liar and cheater.
I guess it depends on your motivation for posting their information, maybe.
As I've said before, I have mixed feelings about these types of sites. On the one hand, I would sure like to have notice that you need to pay close attention to a particular guy. On the other hand, there is definitely the chance of innocent people being dragged through the mud.
Sheri
After lurking through this entire thread, and vascillating on my pov, I finally read something in your post that I can agree with 100%.
As much as I hate a cheater, I think that this website is truly awful. How is anyone to know whether the accusations are true and what the circumstances were.
I too, have a male friend I greatly respect who's marraige ended because of his affair (I was at their wedding 15 years ago), while I don't know every detail of it and listening to his story (we hadn't spoken in the two years he and his wife had split up and I had only just found out the details a few months ago) I understood what happened. Subseqently the woman he left his wife for, cheated on him and now he has to suffer the humilation of working with this woman AND the guy she cheated on him with (Oh! what a tangled web we weave...). So, as much as I still value his friendship, he got what he deserved and he knows it.
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