International OLD

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2010
International OLD
13
Mon, 03-08-2010 - 1:24am
Alrighty, the clueless guy is back with even more questions. As I've been taught that putting all your eggs into one basket is a no no, I've taken that into consideration and have expanded my search and reach.

So, I've talked to a girl from Japan and she only speaks Japanese. I can speak the language since I studied it back in college. We talked about a lot of things and from our old ghetto jobs to everything in between. But I didn't go anywhere near sex or taboo subjects or any of that sort. She seemed to be enjoying the conversations since she laughed quite a bit.

What I was wondering was, how should I proceed? We have moved beyond using the dating site's email and I have her actual email now and plan to write to her. But this is where I'm wondering what should I be doing? Thanks for the help in advance!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2010
Mon, 03-08-2010 - 1:25am
Btw, I forgot to mention, money for flights and stuff is not an issue. I have a great job that will take care of that aspect. I'm just really clumsy in the social aspect of how to proceed with things.
Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Mon, 03-08-2010 - 6:58am
Just curious: why not try to date women locally? I recall you live in CA...L.A., maybe? Gotta be lots of women in your area, plus I'll bet they speak English.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 03-08-2010 - 1:58pm

I had to laugh because I worked w/ a guy once who is Caucasian but for some reason, just loves (only) Japanese women. He originally learned how to speak Japanese when he got his 1st Japanese GF, then they broke up and now he has another one.

As far as international OLD, frankly you have the added risk of meeting someone who only wants a way to come to the US. I work in a law firm that does some immigration, mostly people from China (my boss is Chinese). A lot of people who are already living here go back to China to get married, then a couple of years later after the foreign person gets their green card, they get divorced. Or the person gets married in good faith, comes to the US and decides she doesn't like it (this is pretty rare w/ China, but since Japan is a more developed country it could happen).

My personal feeling w/ OLD is that I only want to meet people in my area because I look at OLD as a tool for the initial meeting. After that, I want to pursue dating in the normal way and letting the relationship develop in person. If you have a LDR it's a lot more difficult. I can see if you live in an area where you never meet anyone cause it's a small town, but if you live in a big city, why don't you just start w/ locals?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2010
Mon, 03-08-2010 - 11:52pm
Oh dear. Let me clear some misconceptions because the last thing I want is advice based off wrong information.
First off, I am not some crazed nut with an Asian fetish. I have no yellow fever WHATSOEVER....I just like the people and their mannerisms. You can't believe how much I like it for women to be well not so manly....@@
As for dating locally, I've tried it and tbh....it's kinda made me sick. Too many ladies have attitudes that are so uh....barbaric I cannot begin to describe. Also, I take care of myself extremely well in terms of grooming and working out. Women who are avg...or above is pretty gross....especially when they can out eat you..If you have seen the show Blind Date think that times too many for me!
Now I don't want to over generalize because I know all people are not all like that, but my god, it seems there are too many of those types. An independent woman is fine. A woman who is a man in terms of attitude is a different story.
I have no interest in those Chinese marriage crap because I have seen the statistics on those green card seekers and it isn't pretty. That is why I only talk to people from developed countries.
Heck, I'm thinking of seeking a French lady just to see how they are like.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2010
Mon, 03-08-2010 - 11:58pm
As for meeting locals online, for some reason I have bad luck in getting responses. I don't know why. So I usually meet them at random in real life, but that always is a terrible guessing game to figure out who they really are. I guess that's why I like the online style.
It's weird for me to be so concerned about who they are, but at the same time I'm so concerned about their weight and attitude. While it might be superficial, I'm careful about this because I don't my kids to be overweight/obese in the future and unfortunately, mum is a big predictor in kids becoming fatties or not. Not to mention all the diseases that go along with it in their futures. I just don't want them to go through it like some of my friends have..
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2009
Tue, 03-09-2010 - 8:37am
The reasons you have specified dont sound practical enuf for a OLD as in OLD you will never know the real person !! The qualities which you despise while meeting women locally might very well be present in the LDR woman ,just that you wont see them sooner,rather much later as its very easy to hide behind a screen/phone.
You want a feminine woman,nothing wrong,but thats something you can really see and feel one-on-one.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-23-2007
Tue, 03-09-2010 - 10:59am

“As for dating locally, I've tried it and tbh....it's kinda made me sick.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2010
Mon, 03-15-2010 - 2:07am

Actually I do understand exactly what you mean.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2010
Mon, 03-15-2010 - 3:55pm

Re: "about average" -- it's dangerous to make that assumption that if someone puts that, it means he/she is overweight.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2004
Sat, 03-20-2010 - 3:02pm

Hmmm, clueless is correct.

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