irony..

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
irony..
15
Tue, 04-12-2005 - 9:17am
Does anyone but me find it ironic (and perhaps a bit telling) that many of the online profiles stress how important good communication is to them. Yet their primary method of communicating with us online ........... is to stop communicating.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2005
In reply to: lg1964
Wed, 04-13-2005 - 1:13pm

You do that, LOL.

 
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2004
In reply to: lg1964
Wed, 04-13-2005 - 3:44pm

I'm gonna examine my life and make sure i'm not projecting.

I don't think I am, but I'm gonna take an active survey of
myself comming up and make sure i'm not.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2004
In reply to: lg1964
Wed, 04-13-2005 - 4:50pm

<<...but couldn't they save it for the time when I give a sh*t?>>

Excellent Amjay!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2003
In reply to: lg1964
Thu, 04-14-2005 - 7:35am

What I mean by "good communication" in my profiles...

When you write an email that is fairly long and conversational and the response you get back from that person is like:

"Well that's nice. TTYL"

I want someone that can be just as conversational back to me, to me that is what I mean by "good communication".

Have you ever had those phone conversations with someone and you can both just keep it going, coming up with new things to talk about, new things to say, there are never any lulls or blank spaces when you talk? That is what I mean by good communication.

I've had some phone calls where you tell each other your names, ask what they like to do for fun, make some small chit-chat and then "......................" stone cold silence. It is amazing sometimes at how some people you can talk to so easily (as long as they reciprocate) and others that you just get such.... nothing from I guess is the best term.

I try my hardest to keep the conversation going sometimes... but in those situations, sometimes I can tell that the chemistry may not be there. But I still give them the benefit of the doubt and want to meet in person to see if there is better communication in person.

Bryan

Avatar for skydance2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: lg1964
Fri, 05-20-2005 - 11:43pm

Yes, it can be ironic at times.

Though I feel (and have been told) I'm able to convey thoughts and ideas well, I've encountered trouble in the past with others being able to do the same.

An example of this might be someone I used to be involved with. He stated early in our relationship that I should tell him what was on my mind any time, even if I feared it might piss him off. Not to suppress my feelings. This was reallyo refreshing, being that I'd been with someone prior completely void of communication skills (he could have been a mute, for all I know).

This didn't turn out to be the case however, as usually when I'd bring something up or was broaching a sensitive subject, it was getting construed as a personal assault. I was often cut off, or talked over (usually to the dog). Accused of trying to change the person, or for not accepting him just the way he was. He would turn to walk away. The worst was being sworn at. It was very hurtful.

If it wasn't something positive to discuss, den frankly, we weren't going to deal with it.

Bad things happen when you can't freely communicate your thoughts. You learn to suppress, filter, or just plain not say a thing. Fairly unhealthy (yet seemingly always my fault). I found myself doing most of the apologizing to make amends when I'd really done nothing wrong. It didn't feel good.




Edited 5/21/2005 4:10 pm ET ET by skydance2002

Pages