>>One thing he said in his profile that did sort of make me pause was that he was an "old fashioned guy", and the "best things in life are free". Worried me that he was stuck in gender roles, and that he was cheap.<<
Okay, please don't take this too personally... but you are REALLY overthinking this. :)
Seriously. "Old fashioned guy" could mean anything from "I like to open doors for women and pick up the check on our dates" to "I think women should be barefoot and pregnant, subservient, and do whatever the man tells them to do."
You just don't know. It might even mean "I won't sleep with you until we're married."
And saying that the best things in life are free... means he's cheap? Puh-leeze! To me, that means he has an appreciation for things you simply cannot buy- the smell of freshly mown grass, a rainbow after a storm, the feeling of sunshine on your skin as you walk along holding hands with your sweetie.
Honestly, I think if you're picking apart profiles to that extent, you are sabotaging your own efforts before you even begin. How could a guy win given that kind of criticality? Don't be so hard on them; go in with an open, optimistic mind and see what happens. .
>>Gosh, am I already finding problems with this guy, and I haven't even met him yet?<<
LOL Yes, you are! Knock it off! :) .
>>The golfer guy, who said he was a guy that believed in Christian morales, I wrote him back and told him that was great, but that I didn't believe in organized religion. If that was ok with him, I would like to meet him still. Do you think I'm shooting myself in the foot?<<
Yes. To me, if all he said was that he believed in "Christian morals" (and don't get me started on what a contradiction THAT little phrase can be), it doesn't really require a response from you. To say that you aren't into organized religion can very easily be seen as a challenge or insult.
Now, if he said something like "I believe in Christian morals and would like a partner who also thinks that way", then saying "I'm not into organized religion, but if you are that's okay with me. So if me not being into it is okay with you, let's meet!" would be a good move.
Does that make sense? I guess what I'm saying is that if it's a requirement for him, he should put it down in his profile; if he didn't, then IMO there's no need to bring it up at all.
And besides, as we've talked about in here many times, we're talking about a first meeting. It can barely be called a date. Unless it's a complete deal breaker for anyone from the beginning, I figure that religion is a topic best left for face-to-face discussion.
Last thing- what everyone else said about your pic. It rocks. :)
Linda: First, add me to the list of people who love that photo. I'm gonna get me one on here sometime soon, and I hope it's as good as yours.
Now. Old-fashioned guy: I respectfully disagree with NGOL. I have found "old-fashioned" to be a euphemism for "prefers women who don't have strong opinions." That may also mean he plans to pay for everything, but in my experience, it means he's not having any of this women's lib nonsense. Especially in our age group.
Christian morals: Kinda the same thing, in addition to if religion is important enough to a person that they mention it in their profile, it's more'n likely they are looking for somebody who shares it. I'm not sure that "Christian morals" are any different from any other kind of morals -- but labeling them as such definitely makes a statement. I'd go on, but I'm sure I'd offend somebody here.
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>>One thing he said in his profile that did sort of make me pause was that he was an "old fashioned guy", and the "best things in life are free". Worried me that he was stuck in gender roles, and that he was cheap.<<
Okay, please don't take this too personally... but you are REALLY overthinking this. :)
Seriously. "Old fashioned guy" could mean anything from "I like to open doors for women and pick up the check on our dates" to "I think women should be barefoot and pregnant, subservient, and do whatever the man tells them to do."
You just don't know. It might even mean "I won't sleep with you until we're married."
And saying that the best things in life are free... means he's cheap? Puh-leeze! To me, that means he has an appreciation for things you simply cannot buy- the smell of freshly mown grass, a rainbow after a storm, the feeling of sunshine on your skin as you walk along holding hands with your sweetie.
Honestly, I think if you're picking apart profiles to that extent, you are sabotaging your own efforts before you even begin. How could a guy win given that kind of criticality? Don't be so hard on them; go in with an open, optimistic mind and see what happens.
.
>>Gosh, am I already finding problems with this guy, and I haven't even met him yet?<<
LOL Yes, you are! Knock it off! :)
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>>The golfer guy, who said he was a guy that believed in Christian morales, I wrote him back and told him that was great, but that I didn't believe in organized religion. If that was ok with him, I would like to meet him still. Do you think I'm shooting myself in the foot?<<
Yes. To me, if all he said was that he believed in "Christian morals" (and don't get me started on what a contradiction THAT little phrase can be), it doesn't really require a response from you. To say that you aren't into organized religion can very easily be seen as a challenge or insult.
Now, if he said something like "I believe in Christian morals and would like a partner who also thinks that way", then saying "I'm not into organized religion, but if you are that's okay with me. So if me not being into it is okay with you, let's meet!" would be a good move.
Does that make sense? I guess what I'm saying is that if it's a requirement for him, he should put it down in his profile; if he didn't, then IMO there's no need to bring it up at all.
And besides, as we've talked about in here many times, we're talking about a first meeting. It can barely be called a date. Unless it's a complete deal breaker for anyone from the beginning, I figure that religion is a topic best left for face-to-face discussion.
Last thing- what everyone else said about your pic. It rocks. :)
I doubt you'll hear back from the moral majority, but you never know (you heathen!). Good luck on the other(s).
BTW, is your new iVillage photo uploaded to your profile? Yes? Good.
amjay
Linda: First, add me to the list of people who love that photo. I'm gonna get me one on here sometime soon, and I hope it's as good as yours.
Now. Old-fashioned guy: I respectfully disagree with NGOL. I have found "old-fashioned" to be a euphemism for "prefers women who don't have strong opinions." That may also mean he plans to pay for everything, but in my experience, it means he's not having any of this women's lib nonsense. Especially in our age group.
Christian morals: Kinda the same thing, in addition to if religion is important enough to a person that they mention it in their profile, it's more'n likely they are looking for somebody who shares it. I'm not sure that "Christian morals" are any different from any other kind of morals -- but labeling them as such definitely makes a statement. I'd go on, but I'm sure I'd offend somebody here.
While I do agree with some of what NGOL has said, these things have posed problems in the past.
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