Is it a date ..meeting someone online?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2006
Is it a date ..meeting someone online?
12
Sun, 02-19-2006 - 5:39am
O.k it's me again.I have a question?Is it considered a date if you meet someone online for the first time?He knows what I look like but I don't know what he looks like?I'm suppose to meet him this wednesday?I'm doing it because I'm curious.But I was telling my friend that it is NOT a date BUT she keeps on insisting that it is?Is she correct?I don't see how it can be considered a date if we're just meeting to talk.
Anyways i'm curiious to know what you guys think. :)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Sun, 02-19-2006 - 10:05am

Depends on what you're doing. In most cases, I would say it's a "first meet" or a "meet," especially when you've never met the person before. A date is usually more involved and is with someone you know.


One word of caution... please, please get a picture from this guy beforehand. Lord knows what you're setting yourself up for if you don't.


Good luck with the first meet!


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Sun, 02-19-2006 - 10:45am

I always call them "meets" because I do not consider it a date. And it's not a date in a traditional sense. You are meeting someone for the very first time to talk and see if you are compatible. And considering you have said that you are quite recently divorced and admitted you are not ready to date, you should not consider this a date.

But I also COMPLETELY agree with Kerry. I would NEVER meet anyone without a picture. I've had too many guys that didn't look like the picture they gave me or DID look like the picture (lol) they gave me and heard too many horror stories of people (guys and girls) that "sounded" great but turned out to not be anything like what the other was expecting. I would strongly recommend getting a picture unless you want a potential unpleasant surprise. Curious, but what is his reason for not sending/posting a picture? You have asked for one, right? If not, why not?

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

Avatar for phoenixmama
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sun, 02-19-2006 - 11:20am

Your friend probably hasn't done OLD, has she?

The more I talk to people who haven't, the more I realize that this is kind of a 'subculture' with certain standards and definitions. Most of us would consider a "meet" to not be a "date". A "date" for me is after you've established some mutual interest, but "meeting" is more of a casual introduction, to see if the person you meet face to face is the same person they are portraying in profile/emails and see if you get along.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Sun, 02-19-2006 - 12:34pm
OK, now Im confused. "Meeting" on line, say maybe making plans to IM tomorrow at 8 pm .... THATS called a "date" or a "meet"???

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2004
Sun, 02-19-2006 - 12:40pm
I think she meant meeting the person she "met online" face-to-face for the first time... :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Sun, 02-19-2006 - 12:47pm
When we're talking about a "meet" we mean that you're actually meeting a person in person for the first-time, but you met this person initially through an online medium. Hope that clears it up!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2006
Sun, 02-19-2006 - 1:42pm
hey vexer,
yeah I asked him why he didn't have a photo to view and he said that he didn't know how to post one...which is understandable because I didn't know up until last year how to post my photo and also how to cut and post a resume..REALLY!! :)
I must admit that my photo was taken in july of 2004 so what he has been seeing isn't up to date BUT at least it's something.I know that before I said that I wasn;t ready to date BUT I am ready to try to meet new friends and BEFORE you date I think its good to be friends first...right?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Sun, 02-19-2006 - 1:48pm

Definitely friends first since you are still recovering from your divorce. Does he know you only want to be friends? If not, it's important to tell him ASAP so that he knows what to expect and doesn't put any pressure on you.

Sorry, but I'm calling hooey on the "not knowing how to post a picture" line. It's not that hard! There are help menus and customer support if you're having problems and also, he could send one via email - that's really not hard. You say you didn't know how to until a year ago, well, that was a year ago. And I am sure that now, it's easy for you since you know how to do it. Even the most technologically challenged person can post a picture on these websites or send one via email. So I am completely not buying that at all. I would be VERY wary of this guy. I bet he's either in a relationship or doesn't look anything like he describes himself. I very well could be wrong, but I am extremely cautious of someone that is "unable" to post a picture.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2006
Sun, 02-19-2006 - 2:00pm
Not to get off the subject but did anyone see the movie "The truth about Cats & Dogs". The radio show girl had her more attractive girlfriend meet her (phone sex) friend, since she didn't think he would like the way she looked. Anyhoo, he ends up liking the less cuter of the two better because of her personality.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Sun, 02-19-2006 - 2:02pm

Tell him to email the photo to you and if he says he doesn't know how, tell you'll be happy to talk him through it. Let him know you're not comfortable meeting someone who you don't know without a picture.


Second, have you let him know that your picture is not up-to-date? If you haven't, I would. It's important to start on an honest footing


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