Is it a gender thing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2009
Is it a gender thing?
28
Thu, 04-01-2010 - 4:50pm

I'm one who tries not to stereotype, but I've had a few conversations recently about whether or not it's a good idea to date someone who is recently divorced.


I've been single now for four years and didn't feel ready for dating until about 18 months after my marriage ended.


But every man I've gone out with has re-entered the dating scene much faster, sometimes within just a few months of divorce.


Is

Your final reward will be heartaches and tears if you’ve cheated the man in the glass.          &nb

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2007
Tue, 04-27-2010 - 10:21pm
amen, in my case after 26 years of hell, I am looking forward to spending my life with someone who is my friend and who likes me just like I am.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2009
Wed, 04-28-2010 - 11:27am

Grieving, being out on your own emotionally and otherwise, and actually experiencing other people in varying degrees of closeness does take time.


Mark,


And herein lies my

Your final reward will be heartaches and tears if you’ve cheated the man in the glass.          &nb

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 04-28-2010 - 12:34pm

I was married for 19 yrs, lived with my ex for 3 yrs before that. We went to counseling for 2 yrs before I threw in the towel plus I did a lot of personal work as well.

I thought I knew what I wanted in my next relationship and I wanted that next relationship NOW. I was ready to jump into another relationship for I was so finished with my marriage and did not want to be alone.

I did not want to date more than one person at a time either when I was dating. I am a one woman type of guy.

I would NOT want to be the first person dating this guy after 25 yrs of marriage.

I have no advice for you on how to keep that balance of casualness.

Mark

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2009
Wed, 04-28-2010 - 4:08pm

I

Your final reward will be heartaches and tears if you’ve cheated the man in the glass.          &nb

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 04-28-2010 - 4:35pm

I agree on living our lives based on what we have now in front of us rather than what could happen.

I also agree with the approach of loving and the willingness to risk being hurt.

Take care and good luck,
Mark

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2009
Thu, 04-29-2010 - 5:54am
I am SO glad that my dh took a chance on me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2009
Thu, 04-29-2010 - 11:49am

New day,


Thanks. Because my gut keeps telling me this one has real potential and it's worth taking the chance on.


Your final reward will be heartaches and tears if you’ve cheated the man in the glass.

Your final reward will be heartaches and tears if you’ve cheated the man in the glass.          &nb

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2009
Fri, 04-30-2010 - 7:40am

Absolutely agree with you.


My twin sister's 'marriage' hadn't existed for..well, most of its 6-7 years' duration by the time she'd met her bf. She was living a life of a (very VERY unhappy) sinlge person for years and years. They'd spent

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