Is it my profile or just me?
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| Wed, 02-01-2006 - 6:02am |
Hi,
I got a 3 month subscription to Match.com as a late graduation gift and it is going to expire soon. During the three month period, I've sent about 30 something emails and recieved 5 replies and 3-4 winks and only 2 that lasted more than 1 round of email exchanges. I really want to figure out if online dating is really worth my money, time, and most importantly my emotions.
Could some members take a look at my profile "caboyinga" and see if it's something in my profile that is just causing girls to avoid it like the plague or it's just me. I did recieve emails (whose grammar and spelling would give my high school english teacher a stroke) from Russian mail order brides so maybe I look desperate?? A close friend of mine reads another message board and she recommended me to seek advice here rather than to continue listening to "a bunch of drunken jackass frat boys and sorority girls who you call friends". You can be as blunt as you wish, because between online dating and coaching the novice squads of my college rowing team, I've become considerably more thick-skinned and jaded. There's absolutely nothing that can hurt me.
thanks,

"I am an Emory graduate that is staying in Atlanta while applying to law school."
This is a lousy opening line. You might want to eliminate it, it implies you are going to be moving away very soon. Find a zippier subject to start rather than where you went to college.
"I just love the South and its people. Easy going and open minded (the SoCal mentality) are two things most people will say about me, but close friends will say that deep down I can get very competitive and aggressive when it comes to achieving my goals in life."
Eliminate "aggressive", sounds like you are cut-throat.
"I enjoy spending time outdoors: roadtrips, camping, and just getting out of the urban lights from time to time. I guess that's why I love the South so much. There's nothing like the feeling of getting away from civilization and just lying underneath a sky full of stars. "
Good
"I love listening to music, raised on classics (Bach, Wagner), but I listen to a variety of music. I love 80s rock (the Boss) and worship country music (George, Dierks, and Toby). Most people would say its a one in a billion chance that you get a Chinese country music fan, but least you forget there's about 1.5 billion of us floating around."
Good
"I am very career driven. I want to be a successful lawyer someday in the future. I've worked two summers in Hong Kong and Shanghai, so I think I would like to work on intellectual property rights in Asia, but that's pretty far into the future."
Not good. Hey gals, I want to date you until I become a career-driven lawyer in where? Asia, of course!
As a prospective date, I'd be running like the wind. Your prospective match will have to endure 3 years of law school with you and then a move to Asia. This may not be what most women want.
"Since graduation, I have been practicing on my culinary skills, mostly a mix of Chinese and Italian dishes. Meanwhile I organize in a lot of exercise into my life because I have participated in sports most of my life and simply feed off competition."
Oh no, not more about competition and aggressiveness. Keep the bit about the culinary skills and the sports.
"My perfect match doesn't have to share all my interests; we just need to complement each other. I want somebody my equal, someone with career ambitions and they don't have to be similar to mine. Being active is always a plus."
Good
"Being able to hold a conversation on a variety of topics from Exclusive Economic Zone disputes to ice cream flavors is something I find very attractive. Other than that I am open to anything else."
I don't know what exclusive economic zone disputes are and most women probably don't either. In one sentence you have eliminated most women from your dating pool. Merely say you enjoy the company of intelligent women and leave it at that.
Go have a friend take some pictures of you while you are smiling. You aren't a bad looking guy so with a little effort you should be able to get a great shot to use as your profile pic, keep the one of you with your dog, the rowing team and with the goggles.
The profile needs a small amount of tweaking to get a much greater response. You should have better luck in no time.
I think your profile is pretty good. You might want to increase the age range of women you are seeking to increase responses.
I agree that you might talk about your competitive side a bit too much. If you are competitive, that's great and that will be very attractive to a lot of people, but I don't think it needs a lot of emphasis.
I also would add a little bit more about how you are in relationships or what you are looking for in a relationship to balance out the career talk.
Just so I'm clear, I think it's fantastic that you are so driven and have ambitious career goals - you just want to show a woman that there also might be room in your life for her.
Enjoy and good luck. :)
AJ, enjoying life with C.
Edited 2/1/2006 10:23 am ET by cl-countrygrlupnorth
Thanks for all the replies. I am currently editing my profile to adjust it. I'll try to get a few good photos and upload it this weekend. I know that I shouldn't have included the entire competition stuff, but should I nicely inform people that I am very much a Type A mentality or is it something that people just figure out when they meet you in person? Generally previous girlfriends knew what they were getting into before I started dating them. I try to make this as honest as possible so there's no unexpected surprises. Also as for the age limits. How far do you think I could adjust the range to be? I feel like dating anyone who's still a teenager is sketchy, but how far older should I set it?
once again thanks for the advice.
Gerald
Looks like you've already made some changes based on what others said, so here's what I think about what you have now...
I do agree that the main picture isn't the most flattering. I like the first small one a lot better (looks like you're wearing a black shirt).
Personally, I like your profile. It's not vague (I HATE one line profiles) and it tells enough about you that I know right off the bat if I want to date you or not. And thank you for filling in the "About My Date" section. That is my biggest pet peeve - guys who seem to not care what kind of woman contacts them.