is it over?
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is it over?
| Wed, 02-01-2006 - 7:08pm |
I met S. 3 month ago. At the time he was 2-3 month out of 3year long relationship with the much younger girl he was very much in love with. She broke up with him needing her "space". She got involved with another guy and that fizzled out in about a month.
Back to the current events...
Everything was going fantastically well between S and me. We spent tons of time together and he even proclaimed he was falling in love with me. I met his relatives, our kids got alone great.
When his ex-gf found out about me - she started to follow him around. He plays in a couple of bands so she would show up when they play. This last Tuesday he told me that she came out to the bar where his band was playing and he talked to her. Ever since I have notice a big change. He is distant and seems very troubled.
Yesterday I approached him about us and about his ex and he said that he realized that he has unresolved issues with his ex and he needs to talk to her and that he has feeling for me too. He said that I deserve 100 % from him and that he feels he needs time to sort out his stuff. He was crying and it was all incredibly sad. He is going out of town and will come back on Sunday so we agreed to decide on how to proceed than. I asked him to exchange keys and stuff back but he refused to saying that this is not over and that it seem too abrupt.
I am so sick over this. I really like this guy but I worry if this is too much drama that will be there forever or is it really over for me? I know his ex and him have a long history together. Can I really hope for a good outcome?
Back to the current events...
Everything was going fantastically well between S and me. We spent tons of time together and he even proclaimed he was falling in love with me. I met his relatives, our kids got alone great.
When his ex-gf found out about me - she started to follow him around. He plays in a couple of bands so she would show up when they play. This last Tuesday he told me that she came out to the bar where his band was playing and he talked to her. Ever since I have notice a big change. He is distant and seems very troubled.
Yesterday I approached him about us and about his ex and he said that he realized that he has unresolved issues with his ex and he needs to talk to her and that he has feeling for me too. He said that I deserve 100 % from him and that he feels he needs time to sort out his stuff. He was crying and it was all incredibly sad. He is going out of town and will come back on Sunday so we agreed to decide on how to proceed than. I asked him to exchange keys and stuff back but he refused to saying that this is not over and that it seem too abrupt.
I am so sick over this. I really like this guy but I worry if this is too much drama that will be there forever or is it really over for me? I know his ex and him have a long history together. Can I really hope for a good outcome?

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I am glad I met S. He is what I would call a high quality person and truly a decent guy although in an unfortunate situation. I feel at peace somehow even though uncertainty does hurt. I am going to give it a rest and take a bit of time for myself too.
Ever read Mars & Venus on a Date? He talks about the 5 stages of a relationship... if I remember correctly:
1 interest
2 uncertainty <--- you are here :)
3 exclusivity
4 intimacy
5 commitment
At any stage the developing r'ship will either end or continue... so what you're going through is just a unique *version* of a phase nearly every r'ship goes through. Just stay chill... it's a good excuse to focus on yourself!
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