is it really wise to send an email

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2005
is it really wise to send an email
28
Mon, 08-22-2005 - 4:44pm
I've sent two guys an email after a date to tell them that I had a good time and would like to see them again. Neither one of them responded. I'm starting to wonder if it's really a good idea to send these emails or just leave it to them to get back to you. I did this just recently and I'm so mad at myself for doing it because I really like the guy and I'm wondering what would've happened if I didn't send it. He might have gotten back to me asking for another date and maybe he didn't like me sending him this email.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2005
Mon, 08-22-2005 - 4:47pm
Don’t email; thanking them at the end of the date is good enough. If they liked you they would ask you out again regardless by the way.
 
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Mon, 08-22-2005 - 4:51pm
I think that it's ok to be upfront and tell the guy that you had a good time. If they were interested in you then they would respond back with a message saying the same thing. I don't think an upfront email will prevent a guy from responding if he was really interested in you. In fact, it can take the pressure off of them wondering if you were interested. Give it some time, they still may respond if not then they are probably not interested. You gave them the message, now it's up to them.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Mon, 08-22-2005 - 4:52pm

If I had a really good time on a first date I do send a short email after.

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-22-2005 - 4:54pm

I don't think it really matters...if they were interested, they would still be interested if you sent the email, and if they weren't interested, the email would be moot point.

I just don't understand the philosophy behind a thank you email, though. Don't you thank them at the end of the date? Why thank them again??? Of course, if you forgot your manners and didn't thank them at the end of the date, then of course send an email, but if you did thank them already, it doesn't make any sense to me to thank them *again*. To me, it seems like a blatant, "yoohoo, remember me?" ploy for attention.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Mon, 08-22-2005 - 4:58pm
continuation of previous post (afterthought)...... The only reason why I say to contact someone and let them know is because so many people are passive daters now especially online, because everyone is so scared if they like someone that the other person doesn't like them and they are so afraid to make a move. Pride overrules interest sometimes and if you like someone make a move, don't be afraid. So many people these days will tell you otherwise but you could be losing out if you don't. A lot of guys now are more passive and more afraid than ever of rejection it seems so it doesn't hurt to be the one to tell them you like them because they may respond. Just don't write 2 times, let them contact you and make sure that if you start dating either of them that they do just as much of the calling as asking as you because it should be a 2 way street.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2005
Mon, 08-22-2005 - 4:58pm

I agree, if you say thank you, I had a nice time and hope to do it again soon or lets do it again soon that will put the ball in their court and will satisfy any doubts of interest on their end. I will add 90% of the time if the guy is interested he will ask me at the end of the date or follow up himself with an email but usually in person on the date at the end.

I think sometimes our gut knows he might not call so we send that email just to give it one last hope of try. Again there are exceptions to the rule but not my personal style.

 
 
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-22-2005 - 5:02pm

If I've enjoyed myself, I say so during or at the end of the date.

And honestly if a guy is interested in me but is too afraid or too passive to ask me out again, good riddance!

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Mon, 08-22-2005 - 5:10pm
You have a point there too Sheri. If a guy is too passive then why would she want to date him again. "I" personally would have written an email if someone left a big impression on me, but not if the date was only luke warm. I probably would have just thanked them as well in a short and sweet email and not asked if I could see them again, so the ball would be put in their court after that to ask me out.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Mon, 08-22-2005 - 5:11pm

The nice thing to do is send an email and let them know you had a good time.

You did the right thing...the guy did not respond for God knows what reason.

Now it would be bad if you started constantly emailing the guy trying to get him to ask you out again...

Don't second guess yourself too much...good luck

Claribeth

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2004
Mon, 08-22-2005 - 9:18pm

"Don’t email; thanking them at the end of the date is good enough. If they liked you they would ask you out again regardless by the way."

I would have agreed with this thinking before our resident males - lg, eric, pg -- indicated a while ago that they felt that women sometimes send mixed signals and they were sometimes unsure of interest at the end of a date; i.e. "I had a really nice time" can be construed as a simple pleasantry rather than interest in actually seeing them again.

For them, the e-mail meant a lot!!

Tracy

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