is it really wise to send an email

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2005
is it really wise to send an email
28
Mon, 08-22-2005 - 4:44pm
I've sent two guys an email after a date to tell them that I had a good time and would like to see them again. Neither one of them responded. I'm starting to wonder if it's really a good idea to send these emails or just leave it to them to get back to you. I did this just recently and I'm so mad at myself for doing it because I really like the guy and I'm wondering what would've happened if I didn't send it. He might have gotten back to me asking for another date and maybe he didn't like me sending him this email.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Tue, 08-23-2005 - 9:49am

"To me, it seems like a blatant, "yoohoo, remember me?" ploy for attention."


LOL

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-23-2005 - 10:05am

Do you not say thank you and I had a nice time at the end of the date? That's what's really confusing me on this thread. If you do, then why repeat it? And if you don't, why not--I'm not trying to bash anyone, just curious!

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Tue, 08-23-2005 - 10:14am
I usually say thanks and goodbye, maybe have a nice night, but no, I don't think I usually say I had a good time.

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-23-2005 - 10:32am

Ok, I can see that. But NO, just to be clear, it's NOT a matter of it not being my "style" to send the email (it totally IS, and I used to do it all the time!) but rather not wanting to do anything that's going to give me a skewed idea of the guy's interest level in me. If I send the email, and he responds, I don't know that it's because he's really interested, or he's just being polite, or getting an ego boost out of it, or figures since I'm so interested in him, I'll sleep with him right away, or whatever.

If I've clearly communicated my interest in him during and at the end of the date, and he doesn't contact me, then HJNTIM. I don't want the email to muddy those waters.

But it's really almost a moot point, because in my experience a guy who's REALLY interested almost always asks me out on another date while we are still on the first one.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Tue, 08-23-2005 - 10:35am

Those are all very good points too.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2005
Tue, 08-23-2005 - 12:40pm
Hi dream angel,
Don't beat yourself up about it. I don't think it really makes a difference. If he was interested he would have contacted you no matter what. Your sending that email wouldn't have turned him off...if he was interested.
In my experience, the next date is already set up at the end of the first meet if there is mutual interest. In those cases I have sent the next day email and thanked them and looking forward to next Saturday...
I have been in situations in my early OLD first meets where I had a really nice time but there wasn't any chemistry, yet there was this kind of vague "we should get together again sometime..." and of course, never contacted each other again.
All I can suggest is next time don't send the email and see what happens.
Chele
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2004
Tue, 08-23-2005 - 1:18pm

"No disrespect meant to the guys on this board, but I have the feeling that if they were REALLY interested in a particular woman, they wouldn't let a little thing like feeling unsure after a first meet get in the way of calling or emailing. If they don't follow up, they weren't that into her in the first place, IMO"

exactly what i was thinking.. that these men here do know what they want and they are going to go after it if they were interested. my feeligs were the same that they were not that interested in the first place either otherwise they wouldn't need any push!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2004
Tue, 08-23-2005 - 1:24pm

"Then when I went on the date on Sunday I got home and wondered if the guy was wondering if I made it home safely. Probably something ingraned in my by my mother. So I emailed him to say thank you "

If a guy is truly interested in your safety and worried he WILL also call you to be sure you made it ok or ask you to please call him when you arrive at home. That has been my case each and everytime when a man really cares he will ask..

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2005
Tue, 08-23-2005 - 4:41pm
delete


Edited 8/23/2005 5:01 pm ET ET by dream_angel2005

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