Is it time to meet him?

Avatar for chicle
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2003
Is it time to meet him?
7
Mon, 11-28-2005 - 1:28am

I have been chatting thru messenger and speaking with a guy over the phone for the past 7 months, in December might be 8 mos. We met on the internet on those friend’s sites, we have never ever met in person before. He is 12 yrs younger than me, I don’t know if that could be a problem. For starters he seems like a nice guy, cute too, according to what I just know from him over the chat or over the phone, I mean he could be lying to me or not, since we don’t know in person yet and over the internet you meet all kinds of people. We have seen each other photos on the internet.

I must clarify that we don’t chat over the messenger very often either or everyday, there has been times we haven’t chat at all for one month or so, then again we feel like chatting again, the same happens over the phone, but I’m the one who always call him, he does not like to call me.

He wants to meet me, but I still undecided, insecure, because I do want to meet him but on the other hand I don’t want to meet him yet.

Of course I know that the first meeting should be in a public place and I want to keep it like that. I mean if only if I meet him I plan us to meet in a mall, at a food court or some store at the mall, plenty of people in the mall.

What Im afraid is that this guy in the course of the times we have chatted or phone each other, I think he has a deep interest in me, he indirectly has told me that. I don’t know if he is playing or he is telling the truth.

Is it time to meet this guy and just chat and talk, a simple meeting, once we meet the first time? But if he goes over the limit and he kiss me on this first meeting, since he has hinted me he likes me? What if he wants more at the end of our meeting besides a kiss?

One of the problems we have so far is the distance, we live away from each other, that is why when we meet, if we meet, we have to plan ahead the day we are going to meet, we cannot say just let’s meet tomorrow.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Mon, 11-28-2005 - 10:07am

Yes, yes and yes... Meet sooner rather than later. You're not really going to be able to answer any of the questions in your mind until you meet and make it real. Right now what you have is an online friendship. If you want to see if it can go deeper, than accept his offer and make a plan to meet up.


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Mon, 11-28-2005 - 10:47am

You don't have to do anything you don't wish to do. But if you aren't interested in meeting this man then you need to tell him so that he can make a decision about how he wants to proceed. Please do not tell him you are interested in a romantic relationship if you aren't.

He may just want to physcically meet you, after 8 months I'd want to meet who I was talking to as well.

Avatar for chicle
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2003
Mon, 11-28-2005 - 1:07pm
Im not interested in a romantic relationship at all I just want to be friends and I have told him that, but as a man, Im hinting he wants more than just friends, even if we havent met personally, that is why he wants to meet me. I have told him lets get to know each other first, hang out, why the rush in be more than friends. But I dont know if I could agree or not with me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Mon, 11-28-2005 - 1:30pm
Then you need to drive that point home before you meet. I'd request a lunch meeting at a busy place.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Mon, 11-28-2005 - 1:35pm
Make sure you make it very clear that you are interested in only friendship and set the expectation that it will be nothing more until such time you both decide that it should be. But what's the harm in meeting? No reason to be scared as long as you know what you are getting into. But after 8 months, it is definitely tim to fish or cut bait. Either you'll have a pen pal or a friend and if you have no intention of meeting him in person ever and you want just a pen pal, you owe it to him to let him know that. Good luck - no harm in meeting him in a safe place. You never know what could happen.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

Avatar for chicle
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2003
Mon, 11-28-2005 - 5:06pm

I know I have to make him clear that Im only interested in his friendship for the moment, that just time can tell if we made good chemistry and I like to hang out more often with him. I mean he knows very well that for the moment Im interested in getting to know him better and be friends, I have told him that more than twice, so he really knows my intentions.

I know there is no harm in meeting but what if he wants to take things further at the end of the meeting or at the end of having lunch or coffee, since he has told me and made clear he wants to be friend with me but one step further, I mean I dont want that, he knows it, that is why I have my doubts in meeting him for the first time, even when we had like 6 months he told me it was time to meet back then, but I told him no. Also the fact he is 12 yrs younger than me, he could be in "that age" where men only think in the physical issue, I dont know Im just assuming. He is cute and seem like a nice guy that is why I do want to meet him, but not for his reasons but the reasons of be friends first.

Of course if I ever meet him it will be in a safe and public place. I plan to tell him, if only if I meet him, to meet him inside a mall, at a mall store or the mall food court you know at a mall there are plenty of people and it is public. That is my plan. The problem is that he has a car I dont have a car and Im sure that after the meeting he will like me as a gentleman to take me home. Im not worrying that he will stalk me in the future or something like that, because he lives very far away from my house, in another town.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Mon, 11-28-2005 - 5:13pm
Why are you getting so huffy? You asked if you should meet him and I gave my opinion. Sheesh.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo