Is it true? Most OLDers aren't serious?
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Is it true? Most OLDers aren't serious?
| Tue, 02-01-2005 - 9:57pm |
I just read that in a different thread here! Is that true??? :(
*sniff* that's very disappointing if that's true. Has that been your experience for the most part? I'm talking about the ones that make it to corresponding and even meeting in person.... are most of them truly not serious? What's it about then? Just about the thrill of meeting someone new? I don't get it. Why would someone want to go through the trouble? Am I missing something? Am I totally naive about this? I was thinking that most people *were* serious about it.
Yeah, and everyone on my planet is generous, warm, loving, and kind hearted to boot....

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"Most Newbies get tons of responses to their profile initially. It wanes as time goes on. That is what sort of sucks. You get so much attention that you lose prospective. Once you gain your ground, there is noone left."
Jodie - you are SO right. In my first few months, I had hundreds of responses. How can you possibly sift through this?? This also explains why I've "ghosted" on several people and then contacted them much later than our first communication... the so-called BBD didn't pan out and I thought I might have missed out on something. Hope that doesn't make me too terrible of a person in all of your eyes, but I suspect it happens a lot.
I'm offline now, but if/when I go back on, I will definitely take it slower, and try to give the legitimate ones a shot (it seemed like there were a lot of them, but in my infinitely bad judgement, I chose to respond and meet all the players/married guys...!!)
Tracy
>>I'm on Match and have gotten 80 emails and 150 winks in just 4 weeks and out of that I've only emailed/talked to maybe 10-15 and out of that number, though they say they want to meet and hang out, no plans yet.<<
I read stuff like this and it just amazes me.
I NEVER send out a wink or an email (actually, if I wink, I also send an email) to someone who I wouldn't meet up with right now.
Seriously. If I sent a wink/email, and a gal wrote back and said "hey, thanks for the wink, let's meet for lunch/coffee/drinks" in her very first email, I would go every single time.
I mean, for heaven's sake, it's just coffee/lunch/drinks. I'm not marrying her, and I've come to agree/believe with what LG says. The first meeting isn't really even a date, it's an in-person meeting for both people to see if they want to go on a date.
So why are there so many women who have troubles getting guys to just meet them once?
I just don't get it.
The really screwy thing is that if I sent out a wink/email that said "Hey, I don't believe in screwing around, if you think I'm cute or interesting let's meet for coffee/lunch/drinks" I would probably get fewer responses than I get now, because people think that's "going too fast".
Sigh. Sometimes I think it's a miracle the human race perpetuates itself at all.
>>They'd get a LOT more mileage if they spent a weekend reading this forum and then went online.<<
The various OLD sites would hate that, because I have no doubt that a large percentage of people would say "man, that's WAY too much trouble, the heck with that" and never subscribe or think about OLD again.
But you're right about one thing- people thinking about OLD would do very well to read many of the threads on this forum, and learn some suggestions.
I think a web page with that kind of information would be very interesting. I'd especially like it if it had some contrasting opinions to give folks "food for thought".
Hmmm... maybe this would be a fun little side project.
Hi,
Really agree with all said here--wish I knew diff....but, the truth Is the truth!
I have been on Match for almost 5 months and I have been 'viewed'6,815 times as of 2 days ago. So far,no one has really been they way they say they are--ie, "a prince looking for his princess"--Or, I am living in the Wrong Kingdom!? I have learned to be VERY wary of the men who say they are looking to be 'friends first and see what develops"--hey, who Isn't?! But, those that spell it out like that Seem to be looking for BWB (buddy with benefits)...no, thanks! :P
I do think for men it is like having 24 gour access to a 'candy store'; they see things they want, so they Just keep going back! They lose you? Oh well, more Jolly Ranchers where That came from! I am sure some women do this way too, but the majority of women I talk to/read about seem to be searching for one person to enjoy life with.
I will keep kissing frogs and hope to find the Prince, not the warts!
Truly,
Cupcake
Love it Carrie, I like that analogy too..let's call it "KISS": Kid In Store Syndrome--great acronym, and we will all know that person is the kind who just is dating to be racking up the numbers, and not looking for a life partner!
Truly,
Cupcake
>>I have been on Match for almost 5 months and I have been 'viewed'6,815 times as of 2 days ago.<<
Oh.
My.
God.
Six THOUSAND times? SIX THOUSAND, EIGHT HUNDRED AND FIFTEEN FREAKIN TIMES?
In a little longer than that I only have had about a thousand views. You've had six times as many. That is HUGE.
FWIW, I think you should give more time/attention/thought to a guy who says he wants to be friendly first and see what happens. That might be a code word for "I want to see if I can score with you", you're right about that.
But it might also be that he geniunely means it, and it's not about sex- it's about not wanting to go into each and every relationship as though "this is IT" and being all stressed out.
He might just be a genuinely- dare I say this- NICE guy. A guy who isn't just wanting sex; heck, he might not want sex until way after you are ready for it! (It does happen, you know.)
Give those "friends" guys a better shot, see how they are. You should know the hound dogs by now.
HI NGOL,
I do not think men get nearly as many 'hits' as we women do, and secondly,Never compare yourself to anyone..oh, and another one, Never get on a weight scale, they are just little devils cloaked in metal! Muscle weighs More than fat, so scales are deceptive.
Ok, health lesson over...I am a health trainer in my second job and have the good luck that my father looked like Antonio Banderas in his 20's, add the Italian spice and I look younger than I am. I got VERY upset with a date (first/last/Only date!) who said that 'women over 40 are like cardboard boxes...all the same!". My reply: "Oh yeah? Want to take this Outside, Bubba?" Please--what a narrow vision!
I think it is what I say in my profile that they like, though. I have a good attitude and I remain a lady--well, except when it is best NOT to be :) I also have QUITE a few men think because I look so young that I can be railroaded into bed--HA! The Cupcake is Actually a rock with Frosting--but like all the great women here, I have been hurt too...
But...Ding! Next! I hope to find one that moves at a decent pace, as you say and I hope to Not get too jaded and lose my faith in humanity. Will take your advice to heart and just roll this rock downhill and keep smiling, thank you mucho! Maybe this one Is just taking it slow and he Is honest...
yep, what a concept!
Truly,
cupcake
Hi Everybody!
Pianoguy has been watching this thread for the past few days.
That was something that took me a while to realize as well. You think they are serious (my thought was why OLD if you were not) but most (well all in my case...LOL) have not been serious about it.
I think that is why my whole approach is different now. I do not let myself get too emotionally attached. If I have a good date with someone it is just that..."a good date". My thought process now is hope for the best but expect the worse.
I try not to let it get me down though because I know eventually I will meet a terrific guy.
Pat
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