Is it worth my time?
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Is it worth my time?
| Tue, 02-15-2005 - 12:34pm |
If I'm looking for a serious relationship, is it worth my time to pursue someone on line that emailed me and said he doesn't look for relationships, is looking for a friend to hang out with and is basically just doing this out of curiosity. It sounds like he's extremely busy with work and school and this is the first time he's ever done OLD. He sounds interesting and it seems like we have some things in common. But I just don't want to start anything if he ultimately isn't looking for a serious relationship.

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Is it worth your time? Probably not.
When a guy says he's not looking for anything he usually means he's looking for a friend to have sex with but with no strings attached.
If he wants a "friend," and you're up for it, there's no harm in being friends. But friends is it. No hanky panky. He SAID he wants to be friends - so friends is all he gets.
Personally I wouldn't waste my time. Been there, done that.
http://tickers.ticke
If you are looking for a friend to hang out with, sure. He's told you EXACTLY what he's looking for.
There's nothing stopping you from gaining a friend AND continuing to look for a serious relationship with someone else.
Are you new to online dating?
I ask because I think there's generally a 2 tag rule -- where new people have to get down with Mr. Hottie Match Guy, have him disappear, blame it on a fluke, take on Mr. Hottie Match Guy #2, have him disappear -- before they truly figure out what they're looking for and how to recognize people who are not it.
No, actually that hasn't been my experience at all. Men who truly want to be in a r'ship have given it some thought and have decided that it IS what they want, and they aren't afraid to state that upfront.
It would be one thing if he said he didn't KNOW what he wanted...but he's clearly stated that he DOES NOT want a r'ship. If you are unable to take him at his word, you should not pursue this.
Sheri
>>But don't most guys not admit to looking for a serious relationship- whether on-line or not?<<
Um, no. Guys pretty much lay it on the line in this area, especially if they've said they're NOT looking for a relationship.
You'll probably end up hurt if a real realtionship is what you want.
Like I said, if you're up for it. It's up to you.
I've done this before myself. It rarely works out. But I'm a confirmed cynic so if you're up for it, hey, go for it.
Just realize that he's ALREADY said he's not looking for a relationship. And yeah, most guys don't start out looking for anything, and if something great comes along, that's great, but he's already said he's looking for a friend and that he's curious.
If you're looking for something more than that, don't put all your eggs in one basket. You can see him as a FRIEND, there's nothing wrong with that, but don't count on anything coming of it except friends unless he decides different. And until that time - no hanky panky. If you go that route, you're looking at Friends With Benefits.
>>But don't most guys not admit to looking for a serious relationship- whether on-line or not?<<
That's how GUYS are. If you prefer, on the other hand, to be with a MAN, then you are going to want someone who's secure enough to say that he wants a relationship.
Anyone with XY chromosomes can be a guy, but it takes something more to be a man.
As far as your particular situation, the guy has TOLD you what he wants. Why do you assume that there's some hidden meaning that he's not admitting to? That's female-think. Male-think is much more simple. He says he doesn't want to settle down. Believe him.
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