it's all coming back to me now...

Avatar for thousandays
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
it's all coming back to me now...
7
Wed, 06-25-2003 - 3:25pm
as to why it didn't work in the first place with mr. ex-boyfriend-now-friend-now-sorta-boyfriend again. We spent the whole w/e together and talked a lot about us, getting back together, etc. It was nice spending time with him but then by late Sunday, I started remembering why we didn't work out. He just doesn't make my toes curl. I kiss him and I just don't feel anything. Not good. Physical compatibility is just as important as emotional. We got the emotional connection down in spades but I'm lacking in that physical zing. Frustrating. I have yet to discuss this with him. Can't think of a way not to hurt his feelings but not to destroy the friendship. Sad my life is. Should just accept inevitable state of spinsterhood and go adopt a few more cats.
thousandays
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2003
Wed, 06-25-2003 - 3:40pm
Well, sorry he doesnt do anything for ya sista! lol Oh, well. Live and learn I suppose. Well, atleast you know what you are NOT attracted to. Now, you just need to find the man you are attracted to and hope he makes the toes curl. Then, remember....there are those that make you feel all hot and bothered, but do nothing for the heart. Ya know? It is almost like a balance that needs to happen. Yeh, I say be friends with him...but get some more cats. (Back to the drawing board?)

Marie is yet to post on her old flame, so lets see her views on it. hugs to you. Sorry it wasnt what you expected it to be. Sometimes you cant go back.

Gail :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 06-26-2003 - 9:34am
Well, here is my response... Sometimes people are meant to be just that friends. It is good you recofnize it now that he is only good for emtional well being before things get more intimate and he is more into then you. He shouldn't be hurt if you told him the truth as you put it here. Let him know why you felt it didn't work before and how great you two are as friends and can hang out. We just have to face the fact sometimes that all things aren't good for romantic relationships and some are good for just friendships. All the best Carol, because you have just went up another step in life and the next guy will be around really son.

Marie

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-26-2003 - 11:09am
I don't think it's about physical compatibility - it's about chemistry which combines emotional and physical and sexual - at least for me. I think you made a wise decision.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Thu, 06-26-2003 - 11:16pm
sometimes part 2 is not good as part 1, so i think u just have to enjoy ur friendship right now and pretty soon u'll find another guy that u both will click, emotionally and physically.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2003
Sat, 06-28-2003 - 3:33pm
Do we need a sexual attration to find the right one.....isn't it more important to connect at a emotional..spirital leval.rather then physical? I am not sure...I always thought that if their is a deep connection.wouldn't that we enough?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Mon, 06-30-2003 - 12:01am
Yah i believe it's more important to connect through emotional and spiritual level..but physical connection will come too after that..right?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2003
Mon, 06-30-2003 - 4:19pm
I believe that, while is connecting spiritually and emotionally is very important and to me, more important as well. I do think that once you meet, you need to have that chemistry. I would admit gladly though, that once you have the conncetion through heart, the looks really dont matter much to a person. Now, if there is just no attraction at all in person, then you were never really that connected in the first place. Right? lol Just my opinion.

I just remember being connected with someone I never met, spoke to him daily over the phone and he promised the world, well when it came down to the time for him to finally meet me, be with me sort of deal....it was me who said no go. I had fallen out of love with him and even if he had looked like brad pitt, it wouldnt have changed what I felt. I just didnt think he could give me what I needed. I had changed so much in that year and he was no longer the person I loved. SO it had nothing to do with his appearance. AM i making sense here? lol

Gail