It's all in the profile

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2009
It's all in the profile
11
Sun, 04-25-2010 - 12:09pm

Many posters who are new to OLD often ask advice about what to write in their profiles and what to comment on when they read others' profiles for the first

Your final reward will be heartaches and tears if you’ve cheated the man in the glass.          &nb

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2010
Sun, 04-25-2010 - 2:26pm

While profiles might be okay as far as determining initial general interest, I think too much emphasis is placed on profiles.

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Sun, 04-25-2010 - 5:00pm

I look for common--or at least compatible--interests. For instance, someone who loves camping, watches lots of sports, loves country music and riding his dirt bike won't be a good fit for me.

I think most people don't express themselves well in writing. I do try to look past that, but it's hard for me when a man can't string a sentence together. I'll admit it: I want a man who at least has a BA degree or the equivalent life-learning. I'm so tired of profiles that say "I'm an honest, sincere guy," or "easy-going laid back" or "I like to go out or stay in". I've read so many generic profiles. I don't feel like a man has to go overboard to impress in his profile--in fact, I think bragging is a huge turn-off--but I'd like him to be specific. If he likes to read, I'd like to know what sorts of things he likes reading, otherwise it's just generic. But I think that everyone looks for different things in a profile.

And while it is true people can and do lie in their profiles, I think most people merely exaggerate. And yes, you can't really know what someone is like until you meet, but I think you can weed out the ones that definitely don't fit. And, of course there is the all-important photo(s). If a man's appearance turns me off, it's going to be mighty hard for me to want to meet him. I'm not talking about someone who looks average, I'm talking beer gut and grizzled beard, wearing a wife-beater.

So, when a man contacts me, I would like him to have read my profile and to comment on something in it--it doesn't have to be a lengthy email, just let me know what you found interesting enough to write to me. I will say, I have an excellent, well-crafted profile (hey, I've had 2.5 years to refine it!) and my photos are accurate and good. In other words, I think I've painted a very accurate picture of myself, so it mystifies me when a man contacts me and we have absolutely NOTHING in common, in fact, we are from different planets. And yes, opposites can attract, but it's more usual for like to be with like. And just because you have things in common doesn't mean you will be able to form a relationship with this person, but at least you'll have a starting point and hopefully you'll have something to talk about at the first meeting.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 04-26-2010 - 11:03am

I agree w/ floridagirl that you can immediately weed out some people because they have really diverse interests. For ex, if someone mentions that they are an avid skier, then I wouldn't bother because I don't ski and I know it would be a conflict w/ what to do in the winter. But if someone said he was a sports fan who liked the same teams I do, then it would be a positive since I like watching sports. I also appreciate someone who has a good sense of humor that comes across in the profile, but it's really hard to do that.

Personally I find it hard to write my own profile since I'm not that funny or creative, but I can at least write full sentences.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2009
Mon, 04-26-2010 - 12:27pm

Your final reward will be heartaches and tears if you’ve cheated the man in the glass.          &nb

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 04-26-2010 - 2:17pm

If you are talking about YOUR profile (i.e. a woman) then that's one thing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2010
Thu, 05-06-2010 - 4:31pm

Men are more concerned with your photos, so always have a current headshot and full length shot; otherwise you risk being rejected when you meet in person. You'd think it would be common sense but both sexes post old, blurry photos that look nothing like they do now.

I enjoy a well written profile because it shows someone's level of intelligence. I like a man with a brain. However, I've dated men with rather generic profiles. I believe in Fate and something told me to get to know these guys in more detail before making up my mind.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2010
Sat, 05-08-2010 - 4:54pm
I agree with the photos. Too many have just a head shot which may be very misleading! I have had dates and relationships from wrong numbers! I find it much harder to OLD because there are so many ways of screening someone out.

dRIVING FOR THE RIGHTS OF THE INDIVIDUAL
SINCE 1969

xvx Pictures, Images and Photos


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2010
Sat, 05-08-2010 - 5:57pm
I recently emailed a guy who had only one photo on his profile. He was very attractive but I found out the photo was four years old. I asked for more. He sent one taken two years ago. He had clearly gained some weight. Meanwhile, he was sending me dozens of photos of his house, his area, his pets, local events but kept evading me or just laughed it off when I asked for more pictures of him NOW. So finally I just blocked him. It's an obvious red flag.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2010
Sat, 05-08-2010 - 9:33pm
So true! I have had the experience of the weight lie. When I met her in person she had no figure!
A long trip for nada. Old photos are a real give away. I have noticed that a great tailor does make a difference.

dRIVING FOR THE RIGHTS OF THE INDIVIDUAL
SINCE 1969

xvx Pictures, Images and Photos


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2003
Sun, 05-09-2010 - 1:58pm

I had a GREAT date last night with a guy who had HORRIBLE pictures. He looked old, and tired, and humorless and insecure. So when Randy contacted me, I told him he was so focused on motorsports that I was sure we didn't have anything in common. He emailed back, sooooo polite and persistent and pointed out that he was about much more than race cars...it was just a current interest he was excited about.

So I half heartedly acknowledged him and emailed back. I had been emailing with another guy I was much more interested in. But that guy was going out of town this weekend, so I half heartedly made a date to meet Randy for a drink. He was handsome, intelligent, attentive, polite and he made my heart go pitter patter. Drink led to dinner, which lasted 4 hours, and the waiter practically begged us to leave, so went to a pool hall and played pool for an hour and a half. At 11:30 he drove me back to the resturant and we talked a bit more, then I finally broke down and asked him to kiss me which he happily complied.

I can't wait to see him again and it is clear that we are both completely smitten. (yes, I will proceed responsibly)

I looked at his profile again today...there was nothing particularly bad about what he wrote, but my first impressions of his pictures still stand: They are still terrible. I hid my profile.

sooooobig

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