Its feels weird now ...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Its feels weird now ...
35
Mon, 01-15-2007 - 2:48am

to talk about other dating prospects here to you guys, after all our discussions about my current relationship! But here goes .... lol


I am still on Match only b/c my year isnt up yet (i think it is in Feb) ... I dont know that I will renew, actually, no, I wont b/c at SOME point in the next few months I will expect things to go one way or the other with Carlos, if neither of us has met anyone else, so I can always re-join at a later date, if needed.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 01-15-2007 - 8:41pm

Not having another child isnt a total deal breaker for me. The more time that goes on, I could be ok with it. Yes, if I could have the choice overall right now, I would say I would want one. But as I am now 39 & my life with dd is pretty simple, it would be prett easy NOT to have one, lol.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2004
Mon, 01-15-2007 - 10:08pm
It is always funny that people who have been dating guys for like 1-2 months max are giving advice to someone who's dated her guy for 5 months -- as if they can be sure after 1-2 months that a guy wants marriage or family at all, let alone with them. And how do they know -- because the guy put it in his profile? You barely even know someone at that point. Good luck to everyone, but please wait until it's lasted more than a few weeks before regaling us with the daily "I'm so glad I did it my way and now look at me" stories. If nothing else, it won't be so anticlimactic down the road if anyone does actually get engaged or something.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Mon, 01-15-2007 - 11:35pm

Well, I wish you good luck with it all - I'm sure you'll have more good stories to post in the near future ;-)


Avatar Image"The Small Peanu
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Tue, 01-16-2007 - 11:48am
Was this post meant for me? Not that it matters or has anything to do with the original posters topic and the amount of time dating doesn't matter either, but I have been dating my guy for 3 months and things are going very well and I'm happy. I know it's not long and it's still in the early stages and god only knows what will happen in the future. I wasn't saying "now look at me" or anything of the sort, that was not my intention and everyone has a different opinions on things. I was just saying that it was MY preferance to look for someone who for sure knew that he wanted a commitment in his life. But it's not everyone's preference. I didn't say there was a right way or a wrong way of doing things and who goes to say she may be engaged in another month or so, you just never know. I agree that no one can say anything until they are in an engagement situation but even then you just never know......Heck you could be married and it could not work out. I'm hoping it does work for the OP and I already told her that I'm happy that she's in a good situation with someone and it's totally up to her and how SHE'S feeling about this it's not up to anyone else. I think he seems like a good man.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Tue, 01-16-2007 - 12:11pm
I do agree with your statements here makes good sense to me. I think it is different for those that were married before and have had a child already becuase you could probably go either way and be with someone that is open to either having them or not. For me I've never been married and never had children and I'm 31 and know that it's what I want so I know that I am more seriously wanting to be with someone who is for certain what he wants pretty early on into the relationship. I once was dating someone for 7 months and he told me that he is open to going either way with marriage and children and then I was hoping so much that he would say that he wanted them but he decided to say no to that and then I was left having to walk away from someone who I really loved and cared about which really made me super upset. Then after that dated a couple of guys that didn't want to commmit, So I think after that i was very adamant on looking for someone who was certain that he wanted a commitment. It goes to say how experience shapes us and the way we perceive things.
Also I agree with your statement that when 2 people are really into each other and are ambivilant about marriage and children a lot of the times they will come to terms with wanting that with each other because of the connection and happiness. People do change their minds sometimes. I don't think I was the one for any of these other guys I dated so that's probably why it ended. I believe the statement "if it's meant to be it will be". I do wish you luck again with everything and all that matters is that you are happy and it appears to be that you are :-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Tue, 01-16-2007 - 12:31pm

Awww, Im so sorry about that relationship that ended b/c he didnt want children. Yes, absolutely ... if I didnt have my daughter, then there is NO way I would be with anyone who didnt want a baby. Of course ... if I was this age (39) & had no partner & no children ... I would have already visited the ol' sperm bank & done it on my own

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Tue, 01-16-2007 - 12:52pm
Thanks :-) I was pretty distraught about it and the other relationships where the guys kind of strung me along because they didnt' know what they want, but I'm glad overall now and everything happens for a reason because I'm with someone right now who talks about a future with me already after 3 months and it makes me super happy and he definately wants kids too :-)
Well, that is definately an interesting turn of events with Carlos. Sometimes it takes certain things like this to push the guy in the right direction and it does make you feel good huh when they get upset or jealous over something with you and they are not normally the type to get that way :-) I think you are right and it might be headed in that direction. Seems to me like he doesn't want to give you up to another man ;-) Keep us posted on how tonight goes. I think you have a lot of people on this board rooting for you lol.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2008
Tue, 01-16-2007 - 1:24pm

Hey Rebecca,


I've been wanting to reply to your post, but had to wrap my head around what I think is going on..


I'm sure you will do what you feel is right for you...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2008
Tue, 01-16-2007 - 1:28pm
WOW! I hope tonight goes well!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Tue, 01-16-2007 - 2:29pm
Taken well, thank you.

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