I've Had it With OLD!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2003
I've Had it With OLD!!!
32
Sat, 09-23-2006 - 7:44am

Ok, that's it...I'm burned out with OLD! I have tried several different sites over that last three years and have only found a handful of guys that were not liars, cheats or just out of a roll in the hay....lol.

And the few that I ended up dating for awhile where nice guys, but there was no chemistry and it was like dating my brother! :)

Oh well, I tried, but I'm burned out on the whole thing. I'm going to enjoy my peaceful life and forget about men for now. And like they say, if it's meant to be that I meet Mr. Right, then it will happen.

Misty

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Thu, 09-28-2006 - 6:30pm

These Boards are for all opinions...and we must remember not to ever criticize anyone for sharing their feelings.

I LOVE your posting Misty! I'm with you, no luck with OLD...but hey, we gave it a shot, right? There can be good and bad stories about OLD, but from what I've seen on this Board, most are BAD! LOL

I also prefer to meet someone the old fashioned way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Thu, 09-28-2006 - 6:33pm

Your comments were on the rude side....we all have the right to post on these Boards...and no one was personally attacking you. Its wonderful to have the freedom to share our feelings...please respect the rights of everyone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2004
Fri, 09-29-2006 - 10:13am

"Why? because online takes more effort. With online you have to take the time to create a profile, put a picture up, pay, etc...I guess that tells me, ok this person perhaps is serious about finding someone."

Anybody can take an hour or two out of their life and post a profile or a picture - that doesn't mean AT ALL that they are serious about finding someone. It might mean that, but it also might mean that they are serious about finding FUN. Online dating is a prime place to shop for sex for many men.

Coolas

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2005
Fri, 09-29-2006 - 10:46am

lol...ok yeah i'm rude

Again this would be like me having a bad divorce or something and going over to the newlywed boards and saying how horrible my marriage was, didnt work out, and i'd rather be single.

Sure you have a right to your opinion and to say what you want, but so do i. I just dont get why you are on the online dating board if you dont like online dating...are you that bored?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Sat, 09-30-2006 - 4:49am

Misty, I definitely feel the same way you do. Yes, there ARE disappointments in dating overall, but at least when you meet someone in person you know who you're speaking to and you know if the chemistry is there from the get-go. You eliminate those two very important factors with online dating, so you're essentially looking for a needle in a haystack with a blindfold on--it IS harder.

Also, I'll be honest here, I've been going out more, being more active..in other words, I've been making it a point to get 'out there there' more than before. I think online dating really suits personality types that are too tired or just too lazy to put the effort in dating. You can stay home in your pajamas and surf through pictures. It doesn't make much effort at all. Most of the men I've met online were sort of lazy--they were basically work types...not much of a social life. And I admit, that when I signed up for online dating, I was initially in a slump--not really wanting to go out, not looking forward to clubs, etc...it seemed 'easier' to do it online, but it wasn't really. I just wasn't too keen on getting out there so I fell into that category myself.

So, I'm slowly coming to the conclusion that I'd prefer to meet someone the good old fashioned way...someone who isn't glued to his computer and shows some interest in life, living it, is active and is 'out there' in the real world. My experience with OLD is that there are a lot of men who are big-time internet players...they will have a profile up for 2 or 3 years and won't ever take it down. Technology is good but it will never replace 'love at first sight' or that feeling you get when you first meet or see someone. I miss that feeling. With OLD everything seems so impersonal. It's not even like you're a real person to some of these men, just a screen name. I don't like that.

Anyway, my profile expires in 3 more months. I'll leave it up till then but I don't think I'll re-new it. If something substantial comes up, fine, I'd like to be proven wrong. But, I'll be honest, I'm not really too optimistic about it. I think my chances of actually meeting someone worthwhile will be by going out more, staying active: going to parties, gyms, stores, school, etc...even as much as I have to push myself to be more social, I think it's worth it. I miss that human factor you don't often get with OLD.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2001
Sat, 09-30-2006 - 1:17pm

I agree with what you are saying. The OLD appealed to me only because I was not meeting anyone locally where I live. In the rural mid-west, it's very hard to meet single, decent men. There are just not a lot around. I am not into the bar scene, and even if I was, I know the pickings are slim even there.

Quite honestly, I had zero dates for a number of years before I did OLD, BUT the disappointment for me was that there was nothing long-term that resulted from those dates. I guess that is the chance we take regardless of how we meet someone, but it always seemed to me that if someone had a profile online and was also paying for the membership to that web site, that they would be a lot more serious about finding someone than some others might be. Turns out, that isn't the case--not at least with the ones I got involved with. There seems to be an overload of wishy-washy, very undecided men online. Some can't make simple decisions in their lives, much less decide if they want to date one woman or not. You said it in regards to "laziness". That is what I continually encountered with the men I dated. Even my last guy (Mark) was lazy once he knew I wasn't interested in dating anyone else but him. That comfort zone caused him to take me for granted very early on, which did not help the relationship when the other problems in his life cropped up.

Men seem to lose interest or assume they do not have to "court" you once you are a couple. I want a guy who is willing to work at courting me and keeping me. Not one who seems unappreciative of me as a person or complacent in how they view the relationship. Taking a woman for granted is a big insult in my book. I am hoping to find a guy who will try a bit harder the next time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Sun, 10-01-2006 - 9:44am

I have to agree to some extent. While the boards, ALL of them, are open to anyone AND anyone's opinions ... your comparrision is good.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2004
Mon, 10-02-2006 - 9:39am
I have to say, when I see there's a thread bashing OLD, I read it immediately because I find it comforting that I'm not the only one not having much luck. I love reading the success stories as well, but if that's all that was on this board, I'd get depressed, wondering what's wrong with me that I can't find a guy this way.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2005
Mon, 10-02-2006 - 10:07am

well i thought i was done with this thread, but i feel the need to respond again (:

If people want to bash OLD, that's fine, I again just do not see the point of them being on this board writing paragraph after paragraph of how silly/stupid they think it is. Dating is difficult at times, no matter how you do it. I personally was having not much luck in the 'real world.' The last two people I met, i met in bars, one RL lasted 6 months, the other 6 weeks. I could have said, ok let's wait around until Mr Right/Mr Right now shows up in my life at the next bar, party etc, or I can go online and actually put some effort into this myself.

As far as people who do online dating lazy? Well again, that's another silly generaliazation that irriatates. Personally, I work full time, go to grad school, go to the gym every day, I've been going to my family's beach house every weekend all summer...i certainly am not lazy. If anything i think it's pretty lazy to sit one's butt down on a bar stool or lounge couch and expect to meet the perfect person that way. I know there are other places to meet people-it just rarely happens for me. I dont meet people at work (everyone seems to be gay or married) I dont meet people at the gym, i'm in and out and barely look at anyone, others seem to be the same way and i dont have time to do things like volunteering right now (which again just because you join something like this does not mean you'll meet anyone)

For me online dating is just another way to meet people, i dont see how people can look at it so negatively, unless they've had a horrible experience with it...but to bash it simply because you havent met anyone seems sort of...well bitter. Obviously none of us have met that special somewhere anywhere at this point or else we woudlnt be here! But it's silly to just call these places or means of trying to meet someone dumb just because you havent met anyone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Mon, 10-02-2006 - 10:14am

Folks, let's leave it at we all have varying opinions. This thread could go on and on with everyone trying to prove their point and at the end of the day it will only serve to have people be angry with one another. So please, let it die.


Thank you.