I've lost my confidence--again

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2004
I've lost my confidence--again
28
Sun, 01-16-2005 - 3:46pm

I had another conversation with the guy I broke up with last week.

Linda

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2004
Sun, 01-16-2005 - 3:52pm

Awww, Linda, I'm so sorry. I know what that's like. I don't get why he wants a trophy wife either. He's no prize at all. What a jerk. Did you ask him how on earth he thought he was going to bag this trophy wife? Being 50, bald and of average income?

(((Hugs to you)))

He just saved you from wasting your time. And there are a LOT of women out there who would love to be a size 12!

Lisa

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 01-16-2005 - 3:54pm

Oh, Linda, I'm so sorry to hear that, but this is EXACTLY why I had so many concerns about you continuing to see this guy. He was cruel to you about this issue before, and I just had a strong feeling that it was going to come up again.

You need to remember that "people get to be who they are". You somehow expected him NOT to be who he is, when he'd shown you who he is. That's just not realistic.

I know you're hurting, but I can't agree that he "played" you. You knew this about him but you kept seeing him. I'm not saying that makes him a good guy, by ANY means, but he was upfront about himself, and you chose to take the risk.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Sun, 01-16-2005 - 3:56pm

I've had stuff like that happen to me too and there is nothing wrong with you or your ability to judge character. Some people are just good liars (fakers). Sometimes you can only take people at their word (or listen to your intuition). You can't always go around assuming the worst about people.

Forget this fool...from the picture you post, you look like an attractive lady. This guy is the usual person who is not all that attractive is an idiot, but expects to get the "babe".

Take heart that it ain't gonna happen and some day he'll be old and alone having dates with Pamela Palm and her five sisters!!! LOL

Keep your chin up,

Claribeth

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 01-16-2005 - 4:04pm

I just wanted to add that I hope you know that I'm not trying to say "I told you so" or rub it in or ANYTHING like that. I just personally find it helpful to take responsibility for my part in things, and look at what I could have done differently, and that is the spirit of my previous post.

You strike me as just a delightful woman and this cruel jerk doesn't deserve another moment of space in your head!

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Sun, 01-16-2005 - 4:08pm

Hey, you can't have a pity party without me!!!

Linda, your judgment of character is flawless -- you always knew there was something missing with him. What happened is that, and I'm sorry if this sounds mean, he was better than nothing. Now he's gone and you need to shake off his attack on your vanity. I have seen your picture, I have read your posts. Get real and stop wasting the pretty on overaged, balding teenagers (may his dink fall off).

Everyone is in our life for a reason, to teach us more about ourselves. Maybe he was here to teach you to love yourself, unconditionally. There is a lucky guy waiting to reap the benefits of your lesson!

Ann-Marie




Edited 1/16/2005 4:09 pm ET ET by amjay45
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2004
Sun, 01-16-2005 - 4:08pm

Sheri,


Yes, he did make a comment having the vision of an ideal woman in his head, who was a barbie doll.

Linda
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2004
Sun, 01-16-2005 - 4:14pm

amjay is right on the money here, Linda. He will regret this decision when he's 60 and lo and behold there's no barbie doll next to him. By then someone fabulous will have entered your life and you can laugh at him.

Lisa

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
Sun, 01-16-2005 - 4:17pm
Linda - Didn't this guy ALREADY tell you this like several months ago? I seem to recall a post where someone had this exact conversation.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Sun, 01-16-2005 - 4:18pm

<>

My dear, we have all said this at some point in our lives. And the answer has always been, "...because I didn't want to".

So that's that. Don't fall on your sword, just keep your eyes on what IS and less on I WANT.

I can't help thinking I'm not making you feel better, and I really want to!! Sorry.

amjay

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2004
Sun, 01-16-2005 - 4:21pm

Of course, I told him that.

Linda

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