JDate Chaps My Hide

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2004
JDate Chaps My Hide
7
Sat, 02-12-2005 - 10:55pm

On JDate you can't read an email unless you have a paid membership. I've been burned once before by sending a free tease and not being able to read the response unless I paid. Of course, when I paid, I just found out the guy wasn't interested! Last night, in a fit of no-date-for-the-weekend panic I sent a tease, and now there is something in my mailbox, and I can't read it. Argh...do I shell out 35 bucks to get a rejection? Either way, I guess it's pretty silly to send something out when you can't read the response...

Robyn

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Sat, 02-12-2005 - 11:07pm

You know, I'm hearing about this phenomenum so often I'm beginning to suspect marketing ploys! Am I getting paranoid?

It's your call of course to pay/not pay, BUT you are searching/finding on the site for dates aren't you? I'm paying on match one month at a time; that is, every 3 or 4 months in a fit of no-date-for-4-months, I'll buy a month. This way, if I actually see someone interesting I can follow through with correspondence.

Good luck!
amjay

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Sat, 02-12-2005 - 11:52pm

The last time I used jdate I waited until I had 12 messages in my inbox before deciding that it was worth paying the membership fee. .

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2004
Sun, 02-13-2005 - 12:03am

Thanks, both of you. I'll most likely bite the bullet and pay up, but I'll wait a day or two...I've met someone I really like, but we are not at the point where I'm willing to close off other options...of course if he wanted to be exclusive, I'd do it in a minute! Fingers crossed...but I've been here before, and it's crashed and burned. Okay, to bed for me, I'm getting loopy.

Robyn

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2004
Sun, 02-13-2005 - 12:37am

If I am correct, Jdate is just like american singles. Therefore, if the person instant messages you, you are able to correspond with them. So hang out on Jdate a while to see when he is online and then view his profile. Hopefully he will get the hint and see you online also and send you an IM. On American Singles a person is able to send teases without a membership. Therefore, many men would send me a tease. I did subscribe once for two months, but I'm not sure if it is worth it. A lot of problems with the site and being booted out.

I learned so much from my extremely thrifty, commitment phobe ex-boyfriend who can't be without me but also can't give up being online. Do I sound bitter?

Good Luck getting in contact with him. by the way, I also found out that in order to see the people that sent me messages on American Singles I can look at who viewed my profile and that shows who sent you a message or tease, so at least you can see if they are attractive according to your standards.

Avatar for calilawgirl
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
Sun, 02-13-2005 - 12:46pm

Quick question: When you sent the tease (without being a member), what did you expect to happen?

I've been on/off jdate for about 2 1/2 years and I think it's pretty great that you teased someone whose profile you are interested in AND got a response. (Sorry, that's just my SoCal rant about men on jdate right now. :))

Unless $35 is a hardship for you, my vote is to go ahead and become a paying member again- what have you got to lose? I had the same dilema when I rejoined last month. I bit the bullet and am paying my $35 a month. Now I will be the first to admit that my current spin with jdate is the least successful experience I've had with them, but I'm going to stick it out.

My vote is to go for it. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2004
Sun, 02-13-2005 - 3:22pm

Well that's the thing...I have to go for it or why else send the tease! So, I think I will...I'll let you know if it's yea or nea. I'm betting it's a no thanks!

Robyn

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2004
Sun, 02-13-2005 - 6:20pm

>>On JDate you can't read an email unless you have a paid membership. <<

I was thinking about this, and the best way to avoid having to deal with this kind of OLD service is pretty simple- don't use them.

If more of us (the OLD community as a whole) simply refused to use services that make you pay to respond to email, or even READ email sent to you, then those services that use that business model would go under- and they'd either change their practice, or they'd die.

American Singles, JDate, and Date.ca are all basically the same site, running the same software and so forth, and they all do this. It's why I don't really use American Singles anymore- I knew that anyone I wrote to had to subscribe, just to read my email.

That means that if I emailed a non-subscriber, the first thing they're going to do is look at my profile, which means that if my profile isn't pretty darn good, I'm done for right away. My stunning, hand-crafted, emotionally touching yet lighthearted and funny email will do me no good, because they never see it- they just see my picture and think "blech".

Unfortunately for you Jewish folks, I have heard that Jdate is about the biggest/best OLD site that targets your population, so if you want to do OLD and the religion is a must-have type of deal breaker, you're probably stuck using Jdate. :(

But the rest of you... join me in not using AS, Date.ca, and any other site in that family or any other site that makes you subscribe just to READ email.