Jumping to conclusions...
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Jumping to conclusions...
| Wed, 11-08-2006 - 10:29am |
OK, I didn't want to hijack the other thread, but do any of you think that at times we women are just as guilty if not moreso of jumping to conclusions about guys "just not being into us" because they don't follow some magic formula we have in our heads of how they MUST act in order to be into us?


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I love it when people say "we all have our preferences" but what they really mean is, "my choices are obviously the ONLY good and right ones".
Sheri
I can only speak for myself, but for me, what I'm "defending" is my right to choose what's best for me.
Sheri
Yeah there's no feeling quite like when you have a crush on someone and can trigger those butterflies just by thinking of them :-)
And I hope no-one misunderstands me for having been fortunate enough to never have been hurt or disappointed - - trust me I've been there - - have only ever been "loved back" by one man . . . so it's been a rough and disappointing five or six years . . .
But I'm happy to still have that optimism that he is out there and there's a high probabiilty that he isn't going to come in the "package" I expect or with all the qualities I currently think I need . . .
I already addressed the issue of "crazy" expectations in post #5 in this thread. That's not what I'm talking about.
Sheri
I'm curious, why would you assume that because someone has reasonable standards that they've put a lot of thought into, that they are not capable of feeling butterflies or are no longer optimistic?
Sheri
I love it when people say "we all have our preferences" but what they really mean is, "my choices are obviously the ONLY good and right ones".
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Hmmmm not really sure how you interpreted this to be my way of saying my choices are the ONLY good and right ones.
You have your preferences Sheri
I have mine
But for the record - I'm HAPPY with my choices and I'm HAPPY with my attitude. Just because I'm absolutely THRILLED that I have (still at least) an optimistic attitude about men/dating - that doesn't translate to me telling you that your choices and attitude are wrong.
But yeah - your choices and attitude are not the same as mine.
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What I really mean is, "my choices are obviously the ONLY good and right ones FOR ME".
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Isn't the point of this message board to share OUR views and OUR opinions - with full expectation of others having differing ones?
SO please - don't put words in my mouth.
Thanks so much
Well FOR ME . . . if I start to think too much or start mentally checking to ensure that all of my "reasonable expectations" are being met . . . things become less spontaneous and romantic.
But - that's just MY Opinion - - not saying it's the ONLY possible attitude :-)
Barbara, I suspect you are a "giver" :) Being loved back is the key.
Regarding what you said about there being a high probability the right man won't come in the package you expect.... For me, wondering what the "package" will be like is the awesome part. I am open to all possibilities, and, like you, I have gotten back to that place of having optimism about the whole experience.
Maybe we should start a thread about how diverse of men we have dated. I have been around the world...to india, iran, you name it, all different personality types, too (but there are certain bad behaviors that are universal that I *Don't* put up with)... I have given so many men a chance to be the one (so-to-speak, lol). It's a lot of fun and looking back, the adventure has been almost as good (considering everything I've learned) as I imagine the final destination will be! Know what I mean?
Okay, I went off on a couple tangents, but I really wanted to respond to those things you said (without hijacking the thread)!
Absolutely. And I'd enjoy reading a post from you that conveyed that attitude instead of being smug and judgmental of those who have a different approach.
Sheri
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