Just a little Help

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2006
Just a little Help
10
Sat, 01-06-2007 - 1:58pm

I bit the bullet after the new year and took some advice from friends. Some of the women iwork with have met present and boyfriends online -- one has been in a relationship for 2 years now -- so i signed up on match.com.

i have been talking to a few people just hi - -hello blah blah blah. seemed to have "kindof" connected with one particular person. in his profile he states he in in a high entry level position and won't put a pic up. understandable. i know a few women who are in high profile positions.

he sounds nice we have talked on the phone -- i get little messages from him during the day. i know his first name he knows mine -- ok -- he seems almost "too" nice -- is it okay for me to just have some fun with this?? he makes me smile and laugh. i am not interested in anything serious at this point in my life. l want to have a friend that i can enjoy and have some laughs with -- though a hug or kiss or too wouldn't be turned down (smile) Okay Boys and girls -- let's hear it -- i am open to any and all advice as to how to keep this "conversing" going. I DON"T WANT TO BE BORING !!

I NEVER THOUGHT IT WOULD BE THIS HARD TO TALK TO SOMEONE after being with the same person for as long as i was.

So have at it. !!!

Big

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 01-08-2007 - 2:04pm

Ok.. so either get his picture and/or meet him as the next step. I find talking with someone a heck of a lot easier after meeting him/her.

Of course you know the usual safety precautions and meeting casual, e.g. coffee in a public place yadda yadda yadda.

Have fun,
Mark

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2006
Mon, 01-08-2007 - 6:14pm
i have friends who have been there when i met someone -- the other person just didn't know it. they stayed in the background and it was nice knowing they were there.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2006
Tue, 01-09-2007 - 3:29am

ok this is a little embarassing. i talked to this "connection" again and found myself in a little bit of a situation. the last "conversation" seemed to take a complete 360 degree spin down the sexual nature road. don't get me wrong i am not a prude but wow this guy said somethings -------- let's just say for someone i don't know and who doesn't know me it got pretty hot. it's like can we meet and bang -- its like let's make a deal. though i was pretty intrigued now i am just a little nervous. i can't even get a pic out of this guy and he is looking for me to lay down. i was really having some fun with this -------- he said something though that just sounded too familiar. like he knows me -- he says he doesn't -- swears he doesn't but it kind of too me back when he said it.

my best friend said its one of two things -- either he feels this really really deep connection which he claimed to or he's sick a perv.

thoughts? -- i must be an idiot. i was having some real fun talking with this guy -- even on the phone we had a few laughs. i wasn't comfortable doing this online stuff and this is one of the reasons.

feel free to let me know what you think.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Tue, 01-09-2007 - 3:55am
I dont like it.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2006
Tue, 01-09-2007 - 8:28am

I know -- it took a lot for me to get up online and now this. thanks. it's too bad because it was really getting fun then BAM !!

thanks for the input. love the pics -- your family is gorgeous

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2006
Tue, 01-09-2007 - 8:35am

Any time a guy starts to talk sexually during the first few conversations and before you have even met is a RED FLAG! He is probably looking for a hook up and is testing the waters to see if you are game. Be very cautious. Unfortunately, this happens a lot in OLD, just be a ware of it and be safe.

YG

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 01-09-2007 - 11:17am

Stop talking to him. He's just looking for a hookup.

Anytime a guy starts talking about sex before you've even met--that's a big red flag (assuming you're looking for more than a casual fling/hookup).

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2008
Tue, 01-09-2007 - 12:02pm

Yikes! You don't even have his picture? This is creepy. There are A LOT of freaks out there. I think you should completely stop talking to him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Tue, 01-09-2007 - 4:54pm

<>

How about neither? He could be just out for sex. That doesn't make him a sick perv - he's just not interested in a relationship, just sex. That doesn't mean he feels a connection either. Besides, if I felt a deep connection with someone, I wouldn't bring up sex right away as that's a touchy topic and can turn some people off. He doesn't know you so he wouldn't know how you'd react. So I'd say it's most likely he's looking for a fling.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2006
Tue, 01-09-2007 - 7:41pm
Stupid I am not. What bothered me was that he said some very familiar things. So communication is not an option at this point without at least a pic.
Thanks for all the input.