Just need to vent a bit
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| Sun, 12-10-2006 - 3:09pm |
I just sent a "thanks but no thanks" email to a guy I'd been out with 2x (and immediately blocked him so I don't have to deal with any responses). We had dinner Friday night and I had a good time, until the very end when he kissed me and ended up sliming me with way too much tongue. I instantly got "the ick" but I was trying to work through it and thinking, well, maybe I can teach him to be a better kisser. So I was on the fence.
Well, he called me not once but twice yesterday, after I'd told him Friday night that I'm singing in 2 concerts this weekend and therefore things were busy for me--I was out running errands pretty much all day yesterday so I missed his first call and then I didn't pick up when he called again because I was annoyed at him not giving me a chance to call back. So then this morning I get an email basically accusing me of being rude because I didn't return his calls on HIS schedule. I wrote back that I could only conclude that since he couldn't even give me a day's grace, esp when I'd told him I had a busy weekend, that we're not a good match.
Oh, that irritated me! Of course, the fact that I was on the fence about him anyway didn't help, but even so--I hate it when someone doesn't respect that you might have other things you want to do other than call them back immediately. I might have worked through the kissing thing, but him badgering me to call him made it impossible for me to do so.
Anyway, I'm now down to 4 prospects from 6 just a couple days ago (I decided I wasn't interested in a 2nd date with one of the guys I met a couple weeks ago), and 3 of them I haven't even met yet so who knows if anything will pan out. And of course the guy I have met in person, I really like (we've been out 5-6 times now), but he's being lukewarm.
Isn't dating fun???? Ugh.
Sheri

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What a loser!!! I'm glad you got rid of him! Ick!!! :P
Pink
Regarding the phone calls and the irritation he had for you when you weren't around:
There's a lesson in that for many of us to learn. EVERYONE it seems on this board has been on the "WHY WON'T HE CALL" side of this issue, e.g., "We went out last night. Why hasn't he called me??" It's a learning experience to be on the other side of it when you see how sad and desperate it makes you look to the other person who actually has a life and things to do while you're sitting there by the telephone.
Dating is wonderful, ain't it? :)
Edited 12/10/2006 6:20 pm ET by emdeesea
Ugh.
Sheri,
I know exactly what you mean. I hate people who don't understand "I am busy." I also think that even if he felt you should call him back, he was being rude to complain about it. You're well rid of the leech with his sliming tongue.
Elsa
You're absolutely right that guys like that are lessons in how _not_ to react. But I think there is also a difference between sitting at home (or in front of the keyboard) muttering (typing) "why won't he call?" and e-mailing him to tell him how rude he is not to have called you immediately.
That is, we can feel desperate. We can even tell our friends that we are desperate. But it is so much classier not to show it to the guy we are desperate about!
Elsa
Ewwww, he slimed you - NICE !
Sheri,
I just wanted to say that I've always admired the way you put yourself out there. It's obvious that you have a good sense of yourself, and are confident. So this is clearly not the right guy for you, which you already know, but I suppose in putting yourself out there, you're bound to run into lots of the wrong guys (and hopefully a few of the right ones!)
So hang in there - vent when you need to - but please know that all of your experiences (and others on the board) encourage me to get out there. I am a little down right now that a Match guy who I exchanged phone numbers with on Thursday still hasn't called (or emailed), but you are always good about reminding us that 1) you can't take this type of rejection personally and 2) don't stop looking!
I've had a few guys like that lately...Right before thanksgiving I had told 3 guys that I would be extremely busy for the next week finishing up a grad class and travelling to see family. I told them I'd contact them when it all settles down and if they are still interested, then we can pick back up, but I *had* to take a break from dating. One guy totally respected me but the other two continued to call and email. sheesh.
Thanks, everyone, for letting me vent, I appreciate it ;-)!!!
I agree, it's a good lesson for not going overboard in contacting someone new too much. If they are on the fence about you, too many calls/emails could push them off the fence--but not in the direction that you want them to go!
Anyway, I had nice phone calls this evening with two of the guys I'm still trying to meet and set tentative meets with each of them for this week. If the lukewarm guy doesn't call me soon to set up a date for this coming week (he mentioned a couple possible evenings but we haven't firmed anything up), he's going to find himself SOL as my week is filling up fast. But the sad part is, I think I would care more about not seeing him than he would about not seeing me :-(. I don't know, maybe I'm wrong about his interest level--he does keep calling and wanting to get together, just not as much as I'd like him to.
Maybe one of those new guys will turn out to be great...we shall see, hope springs eternal ;-).
Sheri
I don't usually post much, but I am also feeling quite f-ed off with the whole dating thing at the moment.. So here is my vent..
I had five dates with this one guy I met IRL...Each time we went out, we had a great time and we seemed to have pretty good chemistry too.. After the last time we went out, he sent me this very sweet text saying how good it was to see me and talking about us getting together and spending the whole night together.. (yes, he was talking about sex and I was totally up for it!) I wasn't looking at him as necessarily being Mr. Right, but a possible Mr. Right Now.. Then, without warning, he completely disappeared on me and I haven't heard from him since apart from exchanging a couple of texts last weekend. Okkay... It wasn't me sending texts about what a great time I had, but whateva...
Then there was this online guy who seemed very sweet and eager, (though there is a bit of a distance issue) we'd had a few IM conversations and then some good phone conversations - we were supposed to have this chat last night and I signed on MSN and saw him and then a minute later he was gone and didn't come online again that night.. He'd told me about a party he was going to the night before and my theory is that perhaps he met somebody there - which is absolutely FINE - I haven't even met the dude yet, so I am hardly attached to any outcome, but for godsake, let me know! It was him that asked if we could meet online last night, not me, so if you are going to blow me off, then let me know, no big deal; but to blow me off without a word of explanation is a little rude, but again, whateva...
I am supposed to meet this very cute guy tomorrow night (online thing) but quite honestly, I am feeling rather disillusioned at the moment and am almost tempted to cancel..
There, that's my vent!
Thanks for listening all.
Coolas
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