Just a quick question

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2003
Just a quick question
4
Sun, 08-17-2003 - 6:13pm
Hello all! It's me again! How do you tell some one you no longer want to correspond? I'm in a bit of a pickle right now. I started talking to a local shortly after my little drama session and fully planned on meeting except now a friend set me up with another guy and I'm starting to like him:)(the guy I was set up with, over the internet I might add...lol.). He's very nice...but that's not my point...how to I let the internet guy know I'm no longer interested with out offending? I'm open to suggestions:).

M.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2003
Sun, 08-17-2003 - 6:24pm
I just say something short and sweet-I don't think that this is going to work for me, good luck. Then I block them if your online service offers that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2003
Sun, 08-17-2003 - 6:37pm
Mila, you can either do what I do and say, "I have so much emotional baggage, I just do not think I am ready for dating", or you can simply not return emails and call and they get the picture finally, or say listen I had something come up and I can see you. Like, ex bf stuff. that always works. lol Or you can do the adult thing, and be honest. lol


take your pick. I say, just say you are really too busy and cant talk anymore. lol

gail:)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2003
Mon, 08-18-2003 - 10:19am
You might want say something along the lines of: "Although I've enjoyed corresponding with you, something's come up and I am unable to date anyone new right now." This tells the truth without telling too much or revealing anything that might be hurtful.

You can then add: "I wish you well." This pretty much closes the door on the situation.

Or, you can add: "If things change in the near future, I'll be in touch." This leaves the door open in case you change your mind.

There is no need to block him IMHO unless he refuses to leave you alone.

Another option is to date both men. This is perfectly acceptable until exclusivity is discussed.

jhoover21

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2003
Mon, 08-18-2003 - 12:19pm
That's the problem with not being a man. We (=women) even think about how we can tell somebody we are not interested in anymore that without offending him. A guy would just stop talking and never think about that anymore! BUT...and I would like to add fortunately.... we are not like that and I can tell that I have always tried to find some nice words to make the ending easier for the other one. Something like "I had a good time but I just think we don't have much in common..."

You met this guy on the internet, right? Some dating page or chatroom? So he might know there are others around and you could even tell him you've met somebody else you feel chemistry with and you don't feel comfortable having another one around at the same time. Completely honest, yes but not offending after my point of view. It just shows that you are not playing games, so normally he should appreciate that. I did exactly the same when I met Rob and another guy on-line nearly at the same time. I talked to both for about a week but then I just felt more for Rob and decided it would not be fair to go on with the other one as well. I told it to him frankly. He was sad but even wished me luck, which I had and still have with Rob!

All the best!

Nicole