Just some thoughts...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2003
Just some thoughts...
27
Fri, 02-25-2005 - 2:10pm

As I was sitting in the University library this morning, my thoughts wandered from homework momentarily to how my OLD experiences have been thus far. Its definately been interesting to say the least, however nothing that has led to a first meet. Just lots of guys that want to play the email game with me.
I started to think about what it is that I hope to accomplish by making my photos and profile public etc. What I came up with was that I (just like everyone else on this board) is hoping to find that one in a million special person that I can click with on all levels of a relationship. Its a very big world out there! My optimism about meeting Mr.Right keeps me in a continual state of searching.
In my mind I have a very clear idea of the type of man that would complete the 'big picture'. In the recent week, I've actually taken some time to identify the negotiables & non-negotiables (deal breakers) that aid me in identifying my compatible soul mate.
Of the men that I have received winks and emails from, my "ideal guy" has not been among them.
Another thought that also crossed my mind is that perhaps the kind of guy that I am looking for maybe doesn't even go online ...?... I guess I will never know.

To all the ladies& men on the board here is a thought provoking question, "What qualities or characteristics attract you to a man /woman ?"

I'll start this informal thread by saying that a physically attractive man in a business suit with a sincere, warm and charming personality is an initial draw for me. ( I find that to be absolutely hot).

Any thoughts from you all ?


Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2005
Fri, 02-25-2005 - 3:18pm

Have ponder this online thing (after several very bad dates, and a really bad break up with "thought was the one", who I incidentally met online), I was pondering the thought of putting my ad back up. Then I started looking around. So many of the same faces from over a year ago. (many still active in the last 24 hrs) Makes you wonder? Are they players, married, and lairs? Then I glanced at the ladies profiles and had the thought these women seem smart and are pretty. Why are they online? I have met a few who I remained friends with. Just wasn't the spark so to speak. I think you have to kiss a lot of froggies before prince charming comes along. It's a great way to meet and network. But hard to say if your special one is online somewhere.

And for you question: of course physical, (not be shallow but you have to like what you see we are visual creatures) and personality. It could be the hottest guy I have ever seen, but if he is rude, arrogant or any unbecoming it’s a total turn off.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
Fri, 02-25-2005 - 3:44pm

lady_marina...


Pianoguy is attracted to ladies who are:


1. Physically attractive.....and know how to select clothing that will compliment (but not overaccentuate) their beautiful figures!


2. Mentally alert....but not to the point where they have to constantly play the "I'm smarter than you are" game on every subject......even if THEY ARE!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2004
Fri, 02-25-2005 - 4:33pm

What do you mean by "occasional bad (or sometimes naughty) behavior"?

Lisa

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2004
Fri, 02-25-2005 - 7:16pm
Ok, I'll admit to wanting someone that I am physically attracted to.
Linda
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2004
Fri, 02-25-2005 - 10:31pm

Hi Y'all,

Ditto on the qualities named here, especially by Tammy! I do like a man with a football player kinda build, but above all of that, again the Will to want to have a partner in life, an ally and a best friend. He will be able to go do things with his pals and me with mine, as Trust is a large part of what we have together.

Oh, and as for what PG said, does "get wicked with it" ring More of a bell? I have a very playful/adventurous side sexually and would like a man who likes the same. Nothing illegal funky or wierd, now, but just what two people who really Like each other can have, if so inclined!

I do not think I am asking Too much! In fact, this is what Most of these men's profiles Seem to be looking for too, about 90% of them...but, in reality....? Another story!

My OLD experiences would surely have me Much further down Eeyore Road if not for my good friends here at home, and the opinions/feelings/empathy of those on this board!

truly,
Cupcake

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2005
Fri, 02-25-2005 - 11:35pm

Lalin,

You Said :

I have been pondering this same thing. I think there are MANY game players to wade through. Some of these guys after a time can even be looked at like an online predator of sorts. Maybe not physically dangerous but they do cause their damage. I see lots of new women and then they disappear. I think many of them are innocent of this and these guys just see them as a steady stream of new "victims". I know that's how I feel after my experience.

I got a perspective on this from a guy online once. He told me this is the ONLY way he meets women. I am pretty persistent and got it out of him that he is very noncomittal. Due to the internet, he says he never has to commit. He admitted it was the easiest way to get dates he has ever had in his life. These online meetings aren't seen as "better than a bar" like a woman might see it - he sees it as EASIER than a bar. He said he could have a date every night of the week if he wanted (and he's not even THAT good looking). Kinda shocked me to hear that.

So, I am reviewing the qualities "I" am looking for at this time also. One is being faithful and finding someone willing to commit. Still not ruling the internet out completely but with some of my own experiences and if what this guy says is right (I suspect there is a lot of truth to it from what I read here too), OLD may not be an ideal place. In fact if I DO find the right guy, maybe I should hope he never explores the internet. :) Seems like easy pickings for even average guys.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
Sat, 02-26-2005 - 3:15pm

Lisa...


Pianoguy defines occasional bad or naughty behavior as something that occurs when men occasionally go into retrograde and act like little boys!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2004
Sun, 02-27-2005 - 10:20am

And how well would you tolerate the same kind of behavior in your woman?

Lisa

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Sun, 02-27-2005 - 11:16am

The absolutely first thing that will attract me to a man is if he looks at me with interest, even a smidgen.

Then the work begins. Does he have intelligent points of view, made through reflection and experience. Is he kind. Is he patient (God only knows he will need to be!) Does he have a healthy outlook on life. Is he polite. Does he do volunteer work. Can he laugh at the absurd.

Does he ever ever ever use the word *cuddle*? Sorry, that's a total turn off after searching online for a year!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2004
Sun, 02-27-2005 - 11:24am
Ha-ha, I hate when men use the word "cuddle" in their profile :)

Pages