Just what is an online relationship??..
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| Thu, 05-22-2003 - 11:03pm |
The first is simple, it's based on a connection through a dating service. Generally a few emails are exchanged, a couple of telephone calls are made and a meeting is set up asap. You can meet many people this way and in my opinion, the fact that you may meet 50 or 100 people does not mean that you're a player. I know it's not fair to akin it to shopping for shoes, but the principal is the same, you try out a date, like shoes, and if it doesn't connect or fit..next.
The second is a little more complicated and I think a lot of people have a hard time understanding how two people can form a loving relationship like this. It starts out at in a chat room, game room, possibly a dating service (as in my case), there's usually a bit of back and forth chatter. A friendship develops and you usually set up in some kind of private chat like icq or msn and take it to telephone. You message live and exchange emails on your off times. As the friendship deepens, it starts to become exclusive. You start using different tools for communicating, live talk through the computers, webcams to see each other. Live talk and cams are used when it's impossible to meet and the only reason why you can't meet right away should be because of the logistics of the distance that seperates the two of you.
You can certainly develop a relationship with someone you've never physically met. Using webcams enables you to look into their lives, see their expressions, watch how they deal and interact with events surrounding them. It's the next best thing to being there.
I can't imagine a strong relationship forming strictly over emails. I just don't think it's possible. I also don't believe in instant infatuation, an attraction yes, a curiosity yes, a connection yes, but definately not love or deep feelings. That takes a lot of time and communication. Everyone should be aware of that.
In an ideal situation, everyone would meet as soon as possible, but the fact is that forming relationships through the use of the internet is not limited to communicating or meeting someone in your neighborhood, it's worldwide and it's a choice.
Yeesh...looks like I used up my 2 cents lol
I'd love to hear other interpretations!
Hugs
Jayecey
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Lindsay
Coz I am on a roll tonight,I'll cash in my two cents too.
It is definetly not love in an email or looking at the pic.....just a connection that there could be something potential here..its what your eyes see and what your mind reads.......The frequency of writing to and fro and talking so much increases that first intiution of connection....He thinks like you,or compliments your thoughts,converses intellegently,looks good...so more frequency gives a kind of exclusivity.
The perfect guy may be in another continent...so just the distance should not eliminate him...after all you have felt that connection and attraction..its that saying, "I'll follow him to timbaktoo" meaning anywhere in the world.....still ofcourse,until you are in the person's vicinity and presence,or in his arms or elsewhere,you cannot know the depth of what you feel.Only eyes and touch and senses let you feel the total exhiliration...but because there is no touch,dosent mean there is no connection.Sex is after in the brain,so you can know if you are attracted or not very early.
Love has happened ages ago with letters when the couples were seperated by war,or cultures never let them meet or roam before marriage,but love did occur.Now we are moree careful bcoz of safety,but still we should give love a chance.
Hopeless romnatic signing off,
Anya
I do think on line contact with someone you see consistently in person can enhance a relationship but I think it is a terrible idea (from personal experience) to try to resolve conflicts or problems through instant messaging - so for me IM and email have inherent limitations even in the context of a real in person relationship.
With respect to amanda for example I would hope that they spend at least 6-9 months consistently in person (at least once or twice a week prior to getting engaged) - absolutely her connection to him is real - they have met - but under my personal definition I really don't count the time before they met - not trying to impose my definition on them just sharing my opinion.
For me using match.com is not like shopping - maybe because I am not a big shopper - I definitely end up meeting shoppers but I try to meet only the people using the service to find a spouse so there is more of an element of substance to the meeting - if on line is like shopping then I guess so are bars (which I don't do - the bar scene, that is)
gail
Gail
G
Gail
Marie