"Keep Looking"

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2005
"Keep Looking"
39
Sun, 01-08-2006 - 7:35pm
Got my first "keep looking - not interested" response. That stung a little. You know kind of like a mosquito bite. Took me quite a while to work up the nerve to wink in the first place. Oh well. Makes me not wanna wink anymore though.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 01-08-2006 - 8:21pm

Yeah, I don't like that feature either. And actually, it doesn't necessarily mean that they've clicked on "Send an e-mail to say you're not interested"...if they just delete your profile without looking at it, it sends you that, too, I believe (anyone correct me if I'm wrong). I'd much prefer them just not responding, b/c that isn't an obvious, blatant, "I think you're ugly and don't want to even read your profile!"

Well, all we can do is try, try again, right?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2005
Sun, 01-08-2006 - 8:51pm
Until I lose this weight, I'm always gonna think it's because I'm too fat. But I've written in my profile that I'm not here for the long haul so maybe he'd like someone to stick around.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Sun, 01-08-2006 - 9:18pm
I prefer this feature since it lets you know that he is not interested and not that he ignored your email because he s got too many. Otherwise I would be tempted to wink again.
It is not necessarily saying you are FAT and UGLY it is simply that you are not his type.
Maybe you are shorter, darker, bigger, older, younger or less educated... too religious or not religious enough... there are so many things that you look for in a profile and something might be a deal breaker to someone does not mean you have a defect! it simply means you are not his type.
I winked to a guy who worked as a model and certainly looked like one. He was on the site for a long time and thoguht I try my luck. He replied with the sorry not a match message.
I did not feel bad I just realize he is lookng for someone to walk along his side on the catwalk :~) I could do if I loose 10-20 lbs which will not happen anytime soon
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2005
Mon, 01-09-2006 - 6:47am

Yes, I'd MUCH prefer someone to just ignore me if I send a wink or first email and they are not interested. After communicating a few times it sort of bugs me if they don't give an explanation, but initially I don't need to know they aren't interested by an email....I'll know when I don't hear back.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Mon, 01-09-2006 - 10:22am

Nothing beats me. I had a blind guy close a match and his reasoning was "Other"

So if you get shot down by a blind guy I think that's pretty bad. He can't even see what I look like but still shut me DOWN. ROFL That has been teh running joke around here when they tell me someone ghosted on them I said Well a blind man closed a match on me and couldn't even choose out of the 20 reasons why, just chose Other. LOL

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2005
Mon, 01-09-2006 - 2:40pm

Honestly,

They may choose other because they don’t want to hurt your feelings i.e. physically, intellectually or whatever – I have some men who write over and over thinking I never received an email so I’d rather say I’m not interested so they know and I don’t always say why as it’s not necessary – closes the door for them and me getting future emails. I usually get a good response like “thank you for letting me know either way”......most feel why can’t you send a no thanks email; shows respect (someone wrote me that once or twice saying I was rude for not responding so I’m like fine, here you go).....

 
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Mon, 01-09-2006 - 3:27pm

Other does hurt my feelings.

There are like 20 choices one being "I don't feel the chemistry" I'd rather get that then Other or I'd rather not say, those two I find to be rude.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2001
Mon, 01-09-2006 - 3:29pm
Which site is it that you are on?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Mon, 01-09-2006 - 4:41pm

eharmony. There are like 20 reasons why you are closing the match, one is "The physical difference is too great" another is "I'm pursuing another relationship", "I don't feel the chemistry", "Based on statements in your profile i'm not interested" Etc.

But the two I cannot stand are "Other" and "Id rather not say" I mean there is pretty much a reasoning for anything and if someone thought I was unattractive they could just choose the chemistry one. But those two reactions I can't stand.

But I couldn't believe the blind guy, he's going on and on in his profile about not judging a book by it's cover, because you'd miss out on a really great guy just because of him being blind, yet he closed me without talking to me and chose other, so you have to think your judging dude but you don't want people to be shallow with you. It's really bizarre.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2005
Mon, 01-09-2006 - 4:44pm

Perhaps the other is “you’re too good for me and you won’t like me once the clouds lift” – sound good? :-)

 
 

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