Keeping Our Options Open
Find a Conversation
Keeping Our Options Open
| Wed, 06-29-2005 - 11:48am |
We talk a lot about "keeping our options" open when we are first dating/emailing/talking with someone.
Do you think we do this because we are protecting ourselves (we like the person but are afraid of disappointment) or because we are really interested in seeing all the different fish in the sea?
Perhaps I'm being too philosophical but I'm beginning to miss my early 20s- when you meet someone and you're both excited each other about and you don't worry about putting all your eggs in one basket. What ever happened to taking a leap of faith?
What do you all think???

It's all the guys' fault, those walking TV remote-controls. Click, click, click, look at all those chicks!
Make that 3 cents.
I do it because I've learned a lot since my early 20s ;-). I've learned that having a spark at the beginning doesn't mean you'll end up being compatible 6 months down the road. I've learned that jumping into something (especially if it involves sex) tends to land me in relationships that are not good for me, but that I have trouble ending because I'm too emotionally involved. And I've learned that dating several men at a time keeps me from focusing too much on one particular guy.
Sheri
Excellent and well said. I’ve been dating B over a month and still want to date others – however if I met someone where I felt on wanted to focus on just them then I’d say in a month just dating them is fine and taking a leap of faith. However how I feel now, I want to keep dating until he or someone else makes me think, hmmm, maybe? Don’t have that right now...but I'd take a chance again - I'm not that jaded and it does work for some.
Cheers,
SP
I think that keeping our options open is, in a way, protecting ourselves from disappointment, yet it's something we have to do in order to keep going through the dating process and not getting hurt so easily. We'd be emotioanl messes if we let every guy get to us and then they ghost and/or hurt us.
I think Sheri and Amjay summed it up quite well, you two are so smart and knowledgeable about OLD! I always love to read your posts!
But I think we all have to take a leap of faith eventually if we think there might be a possibility of a relationship. If you don't take a chance at some point, then there is no way anything can happen. But I guess it's just going through the weeding and dating process until you find someone who seems to be worth taking the chance for!
Sunshine
Thank you all for your sharing your points of view. :)
The conclusion I've come to is that when it's the right guy for me and I'm the right girl for him- neither one of us will worry about other "eggs in our baskets." :)
yes we are protecting ourselves and we are also wiser and more experienced.
when we were young we did jump right in because we didn't care if we were compatible all we saw were the stars and the excitement..now we want to know if this person can make the long haul so we don't invest as much tme right away w/ oneperson until we know for sure