Knowing what we want in a relationship
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| Wed, 04-06-2005 - 2:11pm |
I read this good article that talked about dating and what we think we want in a partner and in a relationship. It stated that many of us are too rigid in what we *think* we want and that most people go by looks and first impressions when they first meet someone, yet what we really want to develop in a relationship is usually based off of different criteria.
So it gave some ideas on a way to think about and decipher what is really important to you in a partner and in a relationship. I wanted to share this with all of you as I did it and it helped me a lot.
1. On ten pages of paper, write one of the following words at the top of the page until each page has a different heading:
Personality
Intelligence
Appearance
Ambition
Chemistry
Spirituality
Character
Creativity
Parenting
Authenticity
2. Take your time and for each heading, write all of the things that you feel would be important about a potential partner in that category. Personality, what appeals to you in a partner - somewhat shy, methodical and planned, spontaneous (to what degree?), very outgoing, etc.?
3. Then after you have completed your ten pages, go through each page separately and highlight ten of the most important things in each category.
4. Then read over the ten pages of highlighted specifics and pick out the ten most critical things that you are looking for in a potential partner from the ten pages. (This part was very tricky for me as so many things seemed important that it was hard to whittle them down, but I eventually realized that there were some that were negotiable).
I found that three of my ten I pulled from my Character list, yet others were mostly one from each page. This did help me to see that there are inner things which are very important to me, characteristics that I admire and want in a potential partner.
I hope you have fun with this, I did....
Sunshine

Girl!
If you have the Time to do something like this, I need you to come help me vacuum this house!
Just teasing, it sounds like a cool exercise and I am taking a 2 hour plane ride tommorrow and plan on bringing my paper and pen, and doing this then! Thanks for sharing this, it will be interesting to see the outcome.
I know what I will not do without, and I know what I desire...other than that, as far as how a person is daily, I can be flexible. But, we all have our laundry lists, and this will help define that!
Gracias!
truly,
Cupcake
Hi Cupcake,
Glad you liked it. I actually had it ready to do myself (the ten pages written out)and didn't get around to it for awhile and finally did it one night that I was wired from drinking Chi tea (caffeine) too late and couldn't sleep! It revealed many things to me. Hey I hope you're having a good time with Tall man! Enjoy your trip!
Sunshine
Hi Sunshine,
Thank you for both the good wishes and the well-taken advice. I think 'time' is the only thing we can depend on, in the beginning. This man seems SO plugged into me and has said some things that I Never thought I would hear. I Want to believe him. He is either 5-Star Wonderful or the Biggest, baddest Smooth Criminal on the Planet. Scary to go forward, but step by step and day by day, I want to...no guts/no glory! true that! Maybe he thinks I can't be "real" either? lol...would make for an interesting conversation between He and I, over a glass of wine, 2 months from now...
Truly,
Cupcake