Lack of Experience

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2009
Lack of Experience
Mon, 12-28-2009 - 6:11pm

So I'm 24 years old and have never really dated. Lots of reasons play into this, but none of them are particularly important for the scope of this. Anyway, I've never done the relationship thing and in my 24 years I've never been on a real date. I've only kissed two guys, neither were particularly great exepriences.

As one can imagine, since I've gone so long without experience I am far behind everyone else - everyone my age has been dating, on average, for about 8-10 years.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2007
Mon, 12-28-2009 - 6:27pm

You sound a lot like me at 2.

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Tue, 12-29-2009 - 7:42am

First, I just want to wish you all the best in your "new" venture. You will find a lot of good advice about OLD on this board, so keep us posted.

There's nothing wrong with waiting to have sex. It's a personal decision, and you have to do what is right for you. I'm not sure from your post whether you are waiting for marriage, or just that you want to wait beyond the silly "three date" rule. I don't think you need to state this up front to anyone you are dating. If things start to heat up, you can say you are just not ready. If it looks like it's turning into more of a relationship, then I think you can discuss it.

As to not knowing how to kiss: relax, if you are really attracted to the guy, I predict this is something that will come naturally, like a baby chick flying out of the nest. I understand your trepidation, though. But trust me, if a guy is really attracted to you, he's not going to be concerned about your "technique" so much. In fact, I think many guys would think it was quite sweet. I suppose there are books out there that could give you pointers, if you're so inclined.

Best of luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 12-29-2009 - 11:27am

OK, 24 isn't that old not to have had a BF. My DD is 20 & she has not had many relationships yet. She is kind of dating a guy now but since he was burned in the past, he says he's not ready for a relationship, but he's really the closest thing to a BF that she's had and she is very pretty & smart. So not everyone has been dating since their teen years.

As far as kissing, I really do think it comes naturally. Way back when I had my 1st real BF at age 17 or so, I don't think I needed any instructions. And people like or don't like the same thing, so what's more important is to find out what your partner likes & I'm sure he'll be happy to show you. Sex is a little harder--I think that nowadays not many people are waiting for marriage--if you are, there are more religious dating sites that you could check out. I have to be honest that it will limit your chances, but at least you won't be stuck w/ a lot of jerks that only want one night of sex & then they will dump you.