Ladies...here's another ghost!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2003
Ladies...here's another ghost!
12
Thu, 02-24-2005 - 6:07pm
I don't get this at all....here's the deal:
I've been im'ing this guy for about three weeks, pretty much every day. We've only spoken on the phone a few times during this time, but we talked about so many different things on the computer, music, movies, past relationships, ex's, kids....you name it. We seemed to have so many things in common and our thoughts were almost exact at times. I would typing something he was had just im'd and vice versa. He actually called me on my cell on my way home from work last night and we had decided that we would finally meet this weekend, sat night. We have been planning this since the week before last actually, because he had his kids and I had mine last weekend. So, THIS weekend would work great. We hadn't confirmed a time or place, he offered to come over closer to me and I thought that was nice, but the only thing we talked about was Sat night. While we were on the phone he had another call come in, said it was his kids and would call me back. No problem...he never called back...still, no prob...maybe something came up. He has 3 kids and one is a diabetic on an insulin pump. so there are problems with him from time to time....whatever. So, today, i get online and im him "good morning"...nothing. Oh, he always signs in as invisiible, so I don't know if he's really online or not, but i im anyway. Later today, I im again and say, "hey, hope everything is ok with you...drop me a line or a call when you have a minute"...nothing.
But, here's the really weird thing....his profile is suddenly down from match and yahoo...he's gone from both. Is that too weird...and I don't think it's a coincidence that i'm suddenly not hearing from him and his profile is all the sudden gone. It was there yesterday...i saw it. I know some of you might think he's married...I doubt it . He talked so much about custody and being divorced since Dec 2001....very specific about details surrounding divorce.
Anyway...what do you guys think? Would love to hear any thoughts about what might have happened to this guy. Very very weird to me.
Thanks for any input
Kelly

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
Thu, 02-24-2005 - 6:29pm

1. Girlfriend
2. Wife (separated)
3. BBD or someone he is on/off with from online

To lessen this possibility of recurring, next time don't spend more than a week back and forth emails.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Thu, 02-24-2005 - 6:36pm

Attached. Got busted.

Nothing anyone says online to someone he/she has never met is fact, only entertainment.

cwps, the true worth of a person is in his/her actions, not their words.

amjay

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2004
Thu, 02-24-2005 - 9:17pm

On his second marriage and busted again.

Lisa

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2003
Fri, 02-25-2005 - 11:00am
Thanks everyone...general consensus seems to be he's either married or otherwise attached and got busted. I feel like such a jerk. He seemed to good to be true...oh well, at least it was only 3 weeks and not 3 months! And luckily, he disappeared before I did meet him.
Need to be smarter next time.
Kelly
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Fri, 02-25-2005 - 11:09am

Your were NOT a jerk! You quite naturally believed he was a nice guy. He may still be a nice guy, who knows why he ghosted.

All this goes to show is that it is important to meet as soon as possible, and also to never establish any kind of relationship online.

Lesson learned, now get back out there!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2005
Fri, 02-25-2005 - 11:09am

Hi Kelly

I know you have been emailing this guy for 3 weeks...and it's nice that you have both got on so well...I understand were your coming from but please don't read to much into this

His main concern are his children - any parent being single or not will alway put there children first before persuing a new relationship.

Give it a few more days - hopefully you might end up going out on Saturday night
if you feel that you not sure on what's happening - drop him a txt saying if everything is okay and if meeting up is still on...wait and see on his reply and then take it from there.

I hope this helps

Geeta

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Fri, 02-25-2005 - 11:34am

He might be married, but for some reason I don't think so. But what do I know? :-) However it sounds like he is still going through some nasty stuff and who knows - maybe there is an ex or possibly current gf or wife.

I respectfully disagree with this last poster tho. You have IM'ed once and texted once, right? Don't contact him again. He knows how to get a hold of you and continued contact will just make you look "needy". You had been communicating daily and now you have several days of no contact. Something came up and he ghosted - the reasons why are irrelevant. The fact that his profiles are gone is very telling.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2005
Fri, 02-25-2005 - 11:43am

If that's the case time to move on it's been 3 weeks not 3 months!
so your lucky that it didn't prolonged!

There are plenty of guys out there and you'll find someone honest

I know that there the couristy of what happen!!...maybe your better of not knowing
if he is going throu some nasty Stuff

Geeta

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2003
Fri, 02-25-2005 - 12:57pm
I agree...the fact that his profiles are gone IS VERY telling. He's disappeared for some reason. I still have not heard a word and don't expect to ever from him. I think he may have either a wife or a live-in gf or something. By the way, what does BBD mean? I can't remember who wrote it in the firt reply..."he may have a BBD"...just wondering.
Thanks again
Kelly
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 02-25-2005 - 1:26pm
Bigger Better Deal

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