the "last minute" date
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| Fri, 08-25-2006 - 11:35pm |
Ahh, spontaneity is a sign of youthfulness...or is it? One thing my girlfriends and I laugh about is the guy who asks you out at the last minute, like ON friday for a friday date. Was he really just too busy all week to get around to asking me out OR was it that he had a list of ppl he invited before he got around to me, his final option? My sister and I have a moto,
"never, i repeat never, under any circumstance accept the last minute date!"
What do you all think? I personally think that to accept a last minute date, is a good way to teach the guy he can fly by the seat of his pants and not respect you. The relationship has to Start out being really good and respectful. I seem to think that is a bad sign and a woman with self respect wouldn't take that date! It's okay to be ultra spontaneous once you are in a relationship with the guy or after about 4 dates, but not the first couple of dates!! Do you all agree or disagree??
So, I'm sitting here on a friday night with no date... sitting here thinking about how this guy I have been really interested in just asked me out TODAY-in voicemail when he said he'd call me on thursday and didn't. as much as I was so into him, as a matter of principle, I just can't accept that date or even call him back tonight. I will call him tomorrow and let him know I was busy till late and could just now return his call. Besides the fact that I have shul very early in the morning and usually take friday as a relaxation night after a tough week at work...I would probably still go on a date with someone, but definitely not a man who asks me out at the last minute.
I'm making myself laugh now... there was this other guy who tried to do the last-minute-trick on me 3 fridays in a row a long time ago...it took him several times to get the message. first friday, it was that he happened to get last minute tickets to a basketball game. then the next friday it was that he happened to get phantom of the operal tickets (yea right!..like he didn't see that one coming)...then the final resounding NO on my part was the last minute hockey tickets. I would just tell him, "Thanks but sorry, I already have other plans (key word, *plans*." It got really comical that this guy kept trying to call me last minute, literally friday late afternoon for tickets that night. I had NEVER even met him...I only talked to him over the phone after meeting him through OLD! There was never discussion of he and I meeting each other and/or talking about/deciding together what we would go do the first time we meet. It was just those weird last minute all on his agenda, "I happened to get tickets" phone calls! Not to mention, how the heck can we get to know each other during phantom of the opera or over watching a basketball game! hahahaha
Isn't there a such thing as dating etiquette anymore? You would think (or at least I do) that a guy and I would decide we want to meet and decide together where to meet as a first date or something like that with at least a few days notice. Isn't this the proper way of doing it? LOL...I feel like men are getting less chivalrous, not that I'm opposed to being casual or even going dutch, but c'mon, the firsts have to be pretty respectful nice experiences.
Okay, let me have it...if you think my philosophy is stuffy, let me have it!

No, you're not too stuffy.
The reason guys act that way is because there are plenty of women that will go out with a guy on a last minute date.
I do not understand. Why don't you tell him the truth, i.e. how you don't take last minute date calls?
Mark
Mark,
I did tell him after 3 times. i was less and less interested in him and didn't even want to meet him. I wouldn't hear from him all week. then boom, on friday, he'd call. Believe me, I wasn't sitting around waiting for him to call me, I was on other dates.
I see you're a guy... and you don't understand... perhaps you try to do the last minute dates? :) Think about it, who would a gal rather meet, the guy who calls consistently and plans a date with her a few days in advance or the guy who doesn't call when he says he will and you don't hear from him all week, then he calls at the last minute on friday for a date...which guy seems more genuine? Understand now?
Av
Av, I always understood the point of not doing last minute dates or ANYthing with people. I was more curious about communicating that directly with whoever calls you for such last minute dates.
I am a guy and I do not do last minute dates for I like to plan my time with those I want to be with. When I want to be with someone then I want to make sure that she has the time available for that day and time as well as me. I do know that I get caught up during the week being preoccupied with work and that has happened a lot lately because of the changes going on. I do use email if I just cannot connect via phone or when I'm online at work for it is easier to do at the moment when I think of making plans.
I do believe in straightforward honesty with those I communicate with especially with those I want to be close to. I am at an age and stage in my life where I do not want to "read in between the lines" or guess.
Funny thing is today I am trying to get a hold of a woman friend today to do something tonight. We did date before but now are re-starting as friends. I know since she is a single mom and dating that this is unlikely but I thought it was worth checking in to see if she wants to do something fun together. Right now I am not dating but do want to get out with those I like to be with.
Mark