Lavalife
Find a Conversation
| Sun, 04-23-2006 - 11:43am |
I've previously used match before but decided to try lavalife because it requires no monthly commitment so I posted my profile in the dating and relationships sections. I have to say though that the format of the site is something to get used to.
Because men have the option to instant message any random person they see on-line, I get a lot of random guys writing to me and sometimes am bombarded by messages, most of which I ignore since I am usually browsing other profiles or responding to emails. Many of these guys' profiles, once I get a chance to look at them, contain one or two sentences so I have little motivation to write back, or I seem to have nothing in common with them. I figure if you're a working adult who puts in the effort to hold down a job, you can put in the effort to fill out a profile so it tells people something about yourself. I would much rather get a smile from one of these guys, have a good look at their profile, and then smile back and write back to them but they seem to not catch on to the concept of that.
The guys who smile at me in the "relationship" section are usually way older than what I'm looking for or don't have photos posted or only contain "backstage" pictures to which not everyone has access. I absolutely refuse to respond to people without public photos. One guy who contacted me and was "fascinated" by me I was going to respond to in spite of him being older than I'd like until I found out that at 39, he's "undecided" about children. Though I've gotten smiles and corresponded with a couple of guys who I see as good prospects. Is there any way to hide my on-line status on that site as I do not want random instant messages? I also think it would be good if they gave users the option of filling out a short survey of what type of person they're looking for so you get the responses you want. What does everyone else think of lavalife?

I like LL because it allows you to only share photos with who you choose. I'm sorry, but I don't feel that it's necessary or safe to have your picture splashed all over the internet. I love the backstage feature - if someone likes my profile, I have ZERO problem giving him access (It was unclear from your post if you knew this, but everyone has access to your backstage if you give it to them).
As far as getting messages from every man online, I've never really had that problem (well, with Match I did, ugh). My LL profile specifically says that I'm not looking for a sexual relationship, and it seems like men actually read it, lol. It actually worked out pretty well for me, men would smile and I'd check their profile out. Of course, I'm an instant gratification kind of person, so I don't usually mind getting a bunch of random messages.
I do see a lot more older men using it, but that's not an issue for me since I normally date guys in the 8-15 year old range anyway. :-) Ok, yeah, I think LL has a lot more men in the 50-70 year old range (some have contacted me!), but there's enough in my age range that it's ok.