Lavalife-- looking for sex, or dates??

Avatar for barbrocks
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2003
Lavalife-- looking for sex, or dates??
12
Wed, 03-30-2005 - 9:12am

I was checking-out Lavalife. They have three options for meeting: dates, realtionships,and "intimate encounters." So, I did a quick look at guys wanting to date, then relationships, then sex. Many of the guys were on all three!

Made me hesitant. Do I want to look at dating and finding a relationship with guys who are looking for casual sex while dating me?? Perhaps I'm too old-fashioned for modern-day romance. I don't think that people need to be committed right out of the gate... but to be actively seeking sex with some girls, while supposedly seeking a relationship with others... I don't know. It's one thing to date more than one person at the same time... that makes sense. But, this seems like something else, entirely. "I'm gonna date you casually, seek to establish a serious relationship with you, and screw these ones over here." Maybe it's just not my style.

What do you all think of this blanket-approach?

Barb

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Wed, 03-30-2005 - 11:32am
I briefly tried that site. It was an icky experience.


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Wed, 03-30-2005 - 1:47pm

Hi Barb,

I'd say, even if you know the guy's intention that you're dating with, you never know his intention WITH YOU, so don't analyze too much about it. My last one (that I screamed several times here) said, he wanted both - a sex friend and a GF, when we slept together. I thought, "great, so I'm his GF, and a sex friend now." wrong!! With me, he just wanted to be a sex friend. duh.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
Wed, 03-30-2005 - 1:56pm
The best one is the woman who winked at me on Match and when I was browsing one day noticed she'd flipped her profile to be looking for women instead of men. A bit of a switch hitter I think.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-30-2005 - 2:03pm
LG - why were you searching the "Women Looking for Women" section??!!!?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2005
Wed, 03-30-2005 - 6:39pm
Lavalife has been my main online dating contact for a variety of reasons.... one is because for a woman it is darn cheap.... post a profile and they will come... especially on intimate encounters section.... you get the hits and then the rest is up to you to weed out and block routinely.... btw.... many of the same people are on lava and match and yahoo... I think many are saying whatever they are looking for but may not be the reality anyways... only way to determine if what you want matches what they want is by meeting them...
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2004
Wed, 03-30-2005 - 10:20pm
I joined lava not too long ago and I have been fairly pleased w/ my experience. Had a few dates, offer of marraige and an offer to help me move, lol. The guy I am mainly seeing now I met on Lava and so far, he is a keeper. My interests in dating others has definitely waned since I started dating him but I am keeping my options open cause you never know and I am not putting all my eggs in one basket at this stage. It is just a good idea to date smart. As for the intimate encounter section, well, i think, a guy is gonna take it if someone offers it and if I was into doing that, then hey, I would take it to if thats all i was after. (I do not personally have a profile on the intimate encounter section)
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2004
Thu, 03-31-2005 - 6:53am
Stay away from lavalife. There are alot of freaks on there. You won't find a quality man on that site. Actually, there are some escorts that "advertise" on that site. I would stay away from it. Try eharmony instead.
Avatar for barbrocks
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2003
Thu, 03-31-2005 - 8:05am

Actually, I tried eHarmony, and had crappy luck. I got a dozen matches, and as soon as I did, 2/3's of them put themselves on hold for a variety of reasons, and the rest never responded to the questions-contact eHarmony does.

So, I cancelled that one. I paid an awful lot of money, and had much less success than on Match.com.

Barb

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Thu, 03-31-2005 - 9:09am
I went out with two guys from
Lavalife. One of which had a
profile on all three sections.
Of course, I don't realize
this until after we've been
dating for a couple of months!
The other guy is still a very
good friend of mine but, he
wasn't in the sex only section-
not that that would keep us
from being friends or anything.
Yeah, I agree with you, it's a
bit of a bummer to see those
ads ... I would like to know
what those guys are thinking
when they decide to sign up on
all three sections- Ha!
Avatar for calilawgirl
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
Thu, 03-31-2005 - 11:40am

I have a little bit of a different approach to this. I think he's just being honest. Is he looking for a GF? Possibly. Is he looking for a sex friend? Possibly. I think the biggest lesson I've learned from OLD, regardless of the site, is that just because a person posts what type of "relationship" they are looking for- that doesn't mean it the truth.

Also, I have quite a few guys friends that are horny (can i say that here) and aren't going to pass up fun, no strings sex even though they are looking for a GF. I have other guy friends who aren't interested in bed hopping.

I think you need to decide if you are comfortable persuing a romantic relationship with a man that's into casual sex. (Not making a judgement here)

"I'm gonna date you casually, seek to establish a serious relationship with you, and screw these ones over here." Maybe it's just not my style."

I can GUARANTEE you, you will meet men that behave this way on ANY website, not just lavalife.

OLD is hardest enough as it is, pick a site that makes you comfortable.

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