Let's email. For an eternity.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2005
Let's email. For an eternity.
6
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 2:35pm

Haha, okay. So I haven't dated anyone in several months (and it's been very nice, thank you). But I started thinking it might be nice to meet someone... and thought I'd see what was lurking on CL. It sounded like several people from this board had some good luck with it, so....

I posted an ad without a photo and got about 45 responses, much to my surprise, in just a few days. Not a single nude shot either! Several were out of the age range. Many couldn't spell. Some who were suspicious if I was "for real" or not, etc. But a few seemed like interesting people.

Three men in particular grabbed my attention. So I wrote back.

One didn't respond. One was interested, and seemed to share several of my lifestyle interests. But the one who most has me scratching my head, is the guy who mentioned in his first email that "I think we just might click" and sent a nice photograph of himself.

We've exchanged a number of short emails over the past week, but I'm thinking he's not that interested in taking it beyond email. He seems polite enough, asks questions, wishes me a good day....but hmmm. I find it odd that he hasn't yet volunteered or signed off with his first name. His email had 'cory' in it, so I did inquire if that was his name. His reply was "good guess!". Okaaayyy, that's not really intriguing...

Anyway, no progress. The guy seems content with email. LOL. I casually mentioned a few days ago that I'd be happy to talk on the phone sometime, if/when he was comfortable. No bite. Yet, he still talks about things going on in his life, nothing serious, mostly just friendly banter.

Soooo, I think it's time to end the letter campaign. I'd prefer to talk to a voice. Not to my computer :)


Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 2:44pm

Ah, yes, you've got one of the "endless emailers", LOL!

I think I would write him an email saying something like, "I really prefer to get to know someone in person rather than by email. Here's my number.....if you'd like to talk on the phone and see if it makes sense to meet for a cup of coffee, I hope you'll call. Generally, evenings between 7-9 PM are the best time to reach me."

Then if he doesn't call, and just keeps emailing, I'd ghost. He'll know why ;-).

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2004
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 2:52pm

We men are usually quite receptive to offers of direct communication with a woman we are interested in. ;) I suspect your initial assumptions about him not wanting to really communicate are correct.


I actually had something similar happen to me recently...a girl and I were trading long emails for a couple of weeks, but when I suggested direct communication, her letters actually came to an abrupt end. (LOL)


BTW...I've probably been hanging out with my lawyer friends for too long (LOL), but "good guess!" is technically not an affirmative response to a question. ;) That seems like a deliberate attempt to avoid a Yes/No answer on his part.



Accolade
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 2:55pm
Cory??? wants a daily penpal.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2005
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 4:36pm

I think you're all absolutely right.

So my next question is- why do folks do this? Just seems a little strange that someone would want to bother even investing the time in sending an email to someone they know they might never meet (when the person who placed the ad made their intentions clear)

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 4:51pm

This is one of those questions that you can spend way too much time wondering about (and believe me, I have ;-))...I've gotten to the point of saying, "why ask why" and just accepting that this is just how some people ARE!

But some possibilities are: really really shy, incarcerated, married, has a gf, socially inept, juggling too many women on email to possibly meet or talk to all of them...etc. ;-).

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Thu, 03-30-2006 - 3:31am
That's funny b/c my current OLD guy, said close to teh beginning, re: meeting, "Im not looking for just a pen pal".

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