Let's Play it by Ear??

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2005
Let's Play it by Ear??
5
Fri, 08-26-2005 - 3:00pm

Okay, you meet a guy online and then you talk and decide to hang out, say for example Friday night. You call to confirm and the date is still on, but his response to "what are we going to do?" is Let's Play it by Ear.

My gf is going out with a guy who stood her up the first time and lo and behold are planning on hanging out tonight. Well she called to confirm (obviously), but on both occassions he stated "let's play it by ear!".

Exactly what does that mean? How do most feel about this response?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Fri, 08-26-2005 - 3:06pm

For one I wouldn't go out with someone that stood me up the first time unless he was rushed to the hospital unconscious and couldn't get to a phone during that time. It's one thing to call and cancel a date, it's quite another to stand someone up.

Play it by Ear to me says he doesn't like to "plan" things.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2005
Fri, 08-26-2005 - 3:54pm

I agree wholeheartedly, but this is my same gf who was stood up before and then had wild sex with the guy and he of course never called again. Well the new guy's excuse was he got caught up with life, errands, etc. (called her 2 weeks later) and although "let's play it by ear" may mean he don't like to plan, she, of course, will be heading to his place to meet!

Personally, I think his plan is "gee I can stand up this chick, call her back, act evasive about what we are going to do, and get her over my place and probably screw her!"

My gf lives her own life although I don't necessarily agree with the choices she makes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2004
Fri, 08-26-2005 - 4:05pm

nuh uh!..hate the "play it by ear" ...someone needs a plan to just at least meet...coffee whatever. That is someone who initiates the meeting being lazy. Its natural to want to have a definative if there is someone with initiative. If they say lets play it by ear...that is saying to me..i am not committing to this i wanna leave myself open not to do this in case i get a better offer or putting off the meeting. I am not that spontaneous up to the last 10minutes lol...one needs to know how to dress for whatever place be it casual, indoors, outdoors, and let others know where they are on a first meet.

nyet, nope, nada...i'd make a plan if he doesn't. ___________ 7pm just for ___________ at least. end of story.

Be sure there is a plan so you can do this safely,
Lizzie

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2005
Fri, 08-26-2005 - 4:11pm
Agree with you about "let's play it by ear" -- just seems like he is not really interested in committing to anything. I'm sure he will be available tonight since she is heading to his place! I think personally he already knows the plan -- easy sex!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Fri, 08-26-2005 - 4:21pm
Well your friend obviously doesn't have a problem with people disrespecting her time so yeah your probably right his idea of play it by ear would be this chick got stood up, she still is okay with going out AFTER I stood her up and better yet she's going to come to my house too boot...we'll be knockin boots in no time. LOL