Let’s talk about “look”s…

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2005
Let’s talk about “look”s…
4
Fri, 06-02-2006 - 12:28pm

Morning!!!


 
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2006
Fri, 06-02-2006 - 1:03pm

Hi Ms Peanut,

I'm new to online dating but I totally agree with what you have said. I had my first "meet" with a man last week-end after emailing each other for a couple weeks. We never talked on the phone, though we did exchange pictures and cellphone numbers. Anyway when I met him I thought no way he's not my type at all and there was absolutely no chemistry or sparks. We had a nice lunch and only spent an hour together. He was very nice. He's kind of shy and I am very shy. We are still emailing each other and planning a day at the racetrack. Our birthdays are a day apart and he suggested having dinner to celebrate. I'm not ready for dinner yet, but maybe after the racetrack I'll change my mind. Just taking it very slow.

Rosesared

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2004
Fri, 06-02-2006 - 1:06pm

well my answer remains the same as before on this one.. I am not a believer of "instant sparks" usually for me that means the guy is not good for me and I am just looking at possible physical attraction or something else that is triggering the instant chemistry. I do believe it takes a while to see a person and to know if this person you will have more chemistry with. I do believe you need something a little spark but i do believe that spark can grow the more you get to know eachother.

YOu need the whole package to make along term r'ship. you of course need that spark, but you also need to see the internal part to see if he is a good fit and sometimes that takes more than just one date to see that

and i do agree most women look at the personality first before looks and men first are very visual.

I have known many people in rships either way instant or slow to warm, that have developed into wonderful passionate rships..

and again attraction is in the eye of the beholder, and we all find different things attractive. also once you get to know someone, it is often known, that a beautiful women that is a beyotch will turn very ugly quick to a man and same w/ man that is gorgeous but a player they become instantly unattractive

but a man w/ a good heart and warm soul is what is attractive to me, and someone that has goals , is accomplished and successful and sincere.. those are things that grow on me and then the man becomes beautiful to me on the outside and inside.. but it takes a bit of time to see all that..

when you are old and grey in a rocker (unless you have had multiple plastic surgeries and hair dye) the inside's will matter most.. but again yes you have to have some attraction..

Ask yourself, why you wouldn't give him another chance? is he repulsive?i mean if thats the case to you then it will probably never change but if you find something work /go w/ it and see where it takes you

as you have indicated here, it has worked for you in the past where you thougth hmm i am not sure and it turned into something that you really enjoyed and thought had good potential. BUT if you are totally against it, and really didn't find anything attractive, personality, looks, etc.. then I wouldn't go out again..




Edited 6/2/2006 1:11 pm ET by rosema1
Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 06-02-2006 - 4:42pm

I left my last relationship that lasted 1.5 yrs because of lack of chemistry. Everything else was in line and met my checklist (if I had one). I just could not reconcile that lack of spark. There were other factors as well but that was the main one.

I have had instant chemistry relationship but that ended after 2.5 weeks. It did not help that she slept with her parrot and the parrot had to accept me before we slept together.

I have come to trust my gut when I first meet my date, it only lasts that first meeting or at most, a second date.

BTW I immediately get turned off when I meet a woman who is fatter and/or older than the picture she displays online.

Mark

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Sat, 06-03-2006 - 9:24am

I date whomever I want and whomever floats my boat whether they are hot or just average if they make me laugh and get my attention then I am dating them. I wouldn't be dating someone 7 times if there wasn't something there. I am not a slow pot to boil girl, if I don't feel anything by date 3 at least, I'm not going for a date 4. If I can't see kissing someone I don't want to lead anyone on.

Grey's Anatomy

George is AWESOME...adorably cute and loyal. Although McDreamy is hot he's now cheated on his wife and couldn't just let Meredith move on he had to woo her back in once he saw her moving on with someone decent so now he's a scumbag. Finn is hot and loves animals so he's a winner in my book. And I loved Denny, hot and sweet! he can come lay in my bed anyday, hopefully he's still alive on Supernatural.